5 People You Don’t Want to See Together on Snap Map at 3 a.m. in Madison

author-pic at UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN  

Technology has given us an array of critical and helpful advancements in the past couple decades. Forward facing cameras, 3D TVs and Amazon Prime, to name a few. Above all, however, is Snap Maps. And while we’re sure, Mark Zuckerberg cries himself to sleep over why he didn’t think of it first, this geographical knowledge comes at a price. These are five groups of people you would rather not have known were together via Snap Maps.

5.) Your BFF and Bronson Koenig at Nitty Gritty:

He’s back and more eager than ever. Rachel, no!! You’re so much better than this. We’ve all been there, witnessing our friends about to make tragic hook up mistakes. And what’s worse than that hook up being the infamous Bronson Koenig? When you’re viewing it from afar and can’t do anything to stop it. Oh shit, they’re heading to his hotel. Honestly Rachel? Smh.

4.) Tunnel Bob and your roommate you have beef with at (under?) Bascom:


A man of mystery, everyone wants to know the secrets of Tunnel Bob. The only thing worse than knowing nothing is being so close to knowing, yet so far. So yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have gotten upset at your roommate for not doing the dishes, even though he’s a terrible person — because now he’s on the inside.

3.) All your friends at Parthenon, without you:

If this was Ancient Greece, your friends would probably be put to death. Unfortunately, it’s not, and they’re just dicks. Even though you all said you were just going home after bar close, they snaked their way over to Parthenon for a late-night snack. Now you have no friends and no gyros. Terrible and sad!

2.) Bucky Badger and that dumb Minnesota Gopher at Camp Randall:

You thought he was the one person you could trust. Nope, turns out Bucky is just as shady as your ex. Who knows what they could be doing out there. All classic love stories start with a rivalry. Is the Gopher a girl?

1.) Sam the Mentos guy, Juicy Fruit reps, and Nickelback at Grainger:

You know they’re teaming up to plague us with their disintegrating gum. Hell. Fucking. No. This campus can’t handle 43,000 more packs of gym lying around. And juicy fruit?! We are better than this. If we have to choke down Juicy Fruit we deserve someone better than the quartet whose best work was the “Look At This Graph” vine (#RIPVine).

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