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6 Ways to Get your Paws on a Fake (Student) ID

 

You’re finally living off campus. You can stumble home drunk every night, get a dog, and burn as many candles as you want. However, along with those sweet victories that come with living on your own is the painful reality that there’s something missing in your life: food. If you’re going to stave off hunger, you’ll need to get yourself a Carolina Card with a maxed-out meal plan, a very feasible venture if you’re okay with a little bit of deceit. Here are a few ways The Black Sheep staff has managed to get a pass.

 

6.) Magic:
All this requires is a deck of cards, a pair of hands, and some ingenuity. Call over your victim (the weakest, most freshman-looking child you can find), and tell them to place their card in the deck of cards. Shuffle them quickly, and knowingly ask: “is this your card?” Throw a card at them and get the hell out of there. This will work best if you wear a disguise and don’t throw them their own card back.

 

5.) Look Carefully:
One of the most annoying things to see on Facebook is post after post saying: “Hey, found someone’s Carolina Card, does anyone know this guy?” These people know full well how to use Facebook, and could probably find the person’s page in less than a minute. Instead, they make themselves seem like superheroes that are here to save our identities. Well now, you get to be the villain! You can contact them and do the whole “Hey, that’s my friend’s card! I’ll get it for him!” thing, or save the middleman and just look out on the sidewalk yourself. Either way, it shouldn’t take too long.

 

4.) Duel Someone:
Fighting someone with your fists is just too easy. If you challenge someone to a duel, not only will they be surprised, they’ll also have no idea what you’re talking about. Is it jousting? Is it with magic wands? No one really knows, and that’s what gives you the edge. Just pick a small, unathletic freshman who hit the freshman 15 too hard, and duel him however you see fit. You’ll be livin’ large at Carolina Cafe in no time.

 

3.) Sex ‘Em Up:
This one is a two-for-one deal; not only do you get that fake, you also get to sleep with someone! All you have to do is take the unsuspecting stranger back to your place, and take their Carolina Card from their pocket after they strip. They’ll think they lost it after a crazy night out, and you’ll get the satisfaction of…well, you know.

 

2.) Exercise:
Go to Strom and find your victim. It works best if they’re looking tired or sluggish. When they’re not looking, just grab their card and walk away. You don’t even need to run, because they’re much too tired to chase you. 

 

1.) Maintenance:
This one requires a little bit of extra work. You’ll have to get hired by facilities, and then make an excuse to go into one of the student’s rooms (without your name tag on). Just say you have to inspect the window or something, it’ll work. Secretly nab their card and leave quietly. Bonus point: you get a paycheck!

 

It may seem daunting to have to buy your own food, so this’ll buy you a few extra months of sweet, cheap freedom. You’re not ready to be an adult quite yet!

 

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