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Which Beer Best Describes USC Men’s Basketball Players?


For the first time since… however long ago Alex English used to play for the Gamecocks, the University of South Carolina is actually excited about basketball. This is quite unusual since the only sport the campus seems to give a damn about is football, and goes buckwild when we win a game. Fans can name the players on the field for kickoff but can they for tipoff? The Black Sheep has decided to help fans relate to the players better by imagining the most popular names on the team as beers:


5.) Duane Notice- Labatt Blue:
Coming from St. Michael’s College School and transferring from St. Thomas More, this man might be a saint himself. Duane Notice hails from the great white north and better beer to represent him than Labatt. Labatt Blue is as Canadian as you can get when it comes to beers, the bottle has a maple leaf slapped on it and is made with Canadian barley, which apparently are so different from American barley. The only thing missing from it is coming with a side of maple syrup and being served to you by a moose.


4.) Maik Kostar- Viru:
Not much is known about Estonia except it used to be a part of the USSR and then faded into nothingness. The last part’s a lie because it is the home country of Maik Kostar. This ‘white walker’ of a man is best represented by a popular beer known as Viru. The Black Sheep doesn’t know much about its taste but we do know those bottles are insane and worth the trip to Estonia to get one. Or, you know, a Total Wine.


3.) PJ Dozier- Bohemian Pilsner:
Mr. Dozier is from Columbia, a true hometown hero, and not only that, he is a basketball legacy for the university. Both his father and uncle played basketball for South Carolina during the 80’s. That’s why there is no better beer to partner Dozier with Bohemian Pilsner, a product of Columbia’s very own River Rat Brewery. The only thing missing from this equation is Darius Rucker, which would make for an insane commercial for RRB.


2.) Chris Silva- Régab:
To be honest, The Black Sheep did not know that Gabon had a beer but now we do and it is called Régab. Gabon is also where Chris Silva hails from. Chris graduated Roselle Catholic High School, where those nuns couldn’t beat his upbeat and positive attitude out of him.


1.) Sindarius Thornwell- Sacred Heart IPA:
Though Thornwell sounds like the name of a place out of an erotic novel, Sindarius is nevertheless another Columbia native and legend. Sindarious is a senior and the leader of this team of Power Rangers. That’s why there is no better than beer to associate him with than another Columbia-made beer (bet you didn’t know there was two of them) Conquest’s Sacred Heart IPA.


Bonus: Coach Martin- Budweiser
Coach Frank Martin has become the big man on campus. Frank was raised by a single, refugee Cuban mother. Coach Martin has come a long way to reach the top, by taking a basketball program that used to give away free food to get students to come to games and taking them to heights and achievements they’ve never seen before. Coach Martin has together players and fans from all backgrounds, which is he has to be associated with a beer that represents the story of America.




WATCH: As the Final Four begins, here’s what the Pac 12 is talking about:



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