The Definitive South Carolina Pre-Spring Break To-Do List

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Spring break is so close we can almost taste it. But, there are still a few things to get done before the week of freedom is here. Luckily, your good friends at The Black Sheep are here to give you the definitive list of all the things to get done before you leave Columbia.

 

5.) Find a Legit-Sounding Absence Excuse for Friday and Monday:
If you happen to be one of the sorry souls with scheduling skills so incompetent you managed to land yourself in a Friday class, you’re going to need to find a way out. Honestly, if you plan on making your Friday and Monday classes, what’s the point of even having a Spring Break? Sadly, max vacay time is not a university-sanctioned absence, which means you’re going to have to kill off a fake relative and descend into a 10-day mourning period if you don’t want to get docked the grade-salvation that is participation points.

4.) Hit Up Thompson Student Health Center:
You’ll probably emerge from Spring Break with nothing more than a few cuts and bruises and the age-old tradition that is debilitating liver damage. Just in case, it might be nice to know your blood type/ have a general idea of your health status so one day you can know for sure if you contracted Hepatitis in a hot-tub at Ft. Lauderdale.

3.) Catch Some Sweet Rays:
Instead of studying for your midterms, why not spend that valuable time getting pre-sun at the Ultratan? Maybe you’ll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that’s my point.

 

2.) You and Five Points Need a Little Time Apart:
In preparation for the physically-and-emotionally-strenuous-marathon-drinking-binge that is Spring Break, take a little break from Five Points. Your bank account and your body will thank you.

1.) Organize Your Responsibilities, Put Them in a Neat Pile, Ignore Them Entirely:
Nothing is going to kill the vibe like some asshole busting out his laptop, stressing about job and internship applications, class, graduation, papers, midterms—whatever. That kind of talk is for the painfully-stressed, perpetually anxious college students on campus, not the painfully-stressed, perpetually anxious college students trying to have a nice day on the beach, and can you please just put away that god damn copy of The Road Less Traveled that aunt you never speak to got you as a pre-graduation present?!

 

 

WATCH: We made Malort cupcakes. They are bad.