What Different OSU Sports Are Like In Bed

author-pic at Ohio State University  

At Ohio State we love our nuts, our sports and the team spirit that busts our sporty nuts. But while we spend our time idealizing athletes at their games even though we don’t know most of their names and don’t recognize them aside from sporting their elite red backpacks and godly figures hidden below their puffy jackets, so what’s a dame to do?

Gone away is the faulty assumption that we should bang our way through the most well known teams at the school—the men’s fencing team has seen enough action as is and do not need to stick their rods anywhere else. We have made a new class system, bitches and that system is about quality, not quantity.

4.) Football
Known For Getting Loud:
We all know that our football games get rowdy and that’s no different in bed. When men know how to tackle other men to the floor in hot pursuit of handling their balls, you better be prepared for someone who knows how to touchdown there. Surprising? Not at all for Zeke himself at some point has probably blessed their junk during their locker room orgies I mean chats. Another added bonus to fucking a football player is the copious break-time in between rounds where he inevitably calls Daddy Meyer for advice before taking your field again, drenched in sweat and Gatorade.

3.) Basketball
Known For Surprise Anal:
Hot on the outside, not on the inside is this teams motto. If these lanky lunks can’t bring themselves to score baskets, what makes you think that they can aim for the right hole this time, Debrah? Well, they can’t and if you’re planning on going home with a basketball player, better bring lube and a binky because your court is about to be explored more than you ever anticipated (or wanted).

2.) Cross Country
Known For Causing Hook Ups To Ask: ‘Are You Close?’:
Baby they got stamina and if you don’t think they’re gonna stay-in-ya then you are poorly mistaken. They run the extra mile and while it may be boring, you at least know for certain that there is an end. You’ve lasted this long already; there is no way that you won’t finish now.

1.) Wrestling
Known For Counting To Three:
While they may be starving themselves to make a weight class and perpetually cranky because of it, a wrestler is great in bed. They can fling you around, count to 3, are accustomed to the various STD’s that may be in your bed, can count to 3, built up tough skin already for any comments dick-related, can count to 3 and won’t catch feelings because if they are used to hurtling their bodies onto those of men in less clothing than a winter-hoe making her way to Big Bar, then they’re probably gay.

In all circum(stances) and uncircum(stances) you win because you are entering an elite group of fans who’ve seen the fanny and damn that’s something to be proud of.