Eric Dungey Dreading Semester Where “I’m The Quarterback” Just Doesn’t Do it Anymore
According to sources close to the ~quarterback~, Syracuse sophomore Eric Dungey is mortified at the idea of his go-to line just not doing it for SU students and faculty alike.
“He’s worried his primary panty-dropper just won’t send spine shivers like it did last semester,” said Dungey’s athletic trainer, Doug Flake.
With Syracuse football going just 4-8 and Dungey not playing in the final three games due to injury, his grip on the starting quarterback position has loosened.
Syracuse football is bringing in highly touted 4 star Quarterback recruit Tommy De Vito of Don Bosco Prep, one of the top football high schools in New Jersey.
Sources have told The Black Sheep that Dungey is wary of a guido high school star coming in and replacing him as the school’s primary heartthrob.
“Eric hasn’t had to do anything but play football for 5 months. Adjusting to the new reality that he may have to pay for entry to DJs is something that would shake any 20-year-old manchild. I just hope he can get through this rough patch in the peak years of his life,” continued Flake.
Dungey is set to go to spring training as the de facto quarterback, but that is unlikely to changes the hearts and minds of sorority girls across campus.
“If he isn’t playing and getting sweaty in front of thousands of girls every Saturday, do we even want to have a four-way with him? Let me know,” said one anonymous-yet-interchangeable sorority sister.
It remains to be seen if Dungey can keep a hold of his position for the football team, but as for his position in the line at DJs, things just won’t ever be the same.