Tech Hoops Excited For Disappointing Hopeful Fans

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Have you dropped hints to your friend/ significant other that you would totally not mind Campus Cookies and then become disappointed when you’re not given any damn Campus Cookies? Or come to the conclusion that paying more than $2 to see Lil Dicky was probably not a sound choice? If you haven’t, there is no need to worry: Tech basketball has got you covered.

The basketball team (yes, we have a basketball team. No Cassell isn’t another indoor football stadium) was thrilled to follow up two nice wins with a loss at Louisville. “Man those two wins were big,” Seth Allen told us during an exclusive interview. “It was wild. People stormed the court after the UVA game. I thought for sure we would choke against Pittsburgh, but Coach Williams told us to put it off until the Louisville game.”

The candid remarks were a nice change of pace from the normal “the other team outhustled us” point that usually comes out of players mouth after games, but fans were divided about the comment.

Junior Julia Gimp, a business major, who really wants to see Fifty Shades Darker when it comes the The Lyric, was quite relieved by Allen’s comment. “I really like being disappointed”, she said. “I think it’s because it reminds me of my parents and I’m accustomed to going to football games. “According to Julia, a basketball team that won consistently would be too much for fans. “It’d be like if Benny’s closed and was replaced by a better pizza joint. Everyone would riot.”

Sophomore Marcus Lovett had a decidedly different outlook. “I’m really tall and skinny, so I tell everyone that I’m on the basketball team. They believe me, but they don’t care. Marcus needs the team to win, he continued. He’s tired of having to pitch in for kegs, pay extra for guac, and actually having to try to impress girls on dates. If the team could actually keep up a winning streak, they would be blessing Marcus.

Whatever your outlook on the team’s loss, you now know we have a basketball team. Cassell isn’t just for riding your bike up and crashing hard, unless your viewing it as a metaphor for the team.

How do you feel about the trash dove?