Super Super Super Super Super Super Senior Becomes New WMU Football Coach

author-pic at Western Michigan University  

After several interviews and much consideration, WMU Athletic Director Kathy Beauregard has hired super super super super super super senior Tim Lester as the new head football coach.

Lester was WMU’s starting quarterback from 1996-1999, but still has yet to claim a diploma from the university.

“I just love this school so much!” Lester tells The Black Sheep. “That’s why I’ve been enrolled since 1999, baby!”

He gave up playing football at WMU to take on greater responsibilities, but he was still determined to get a college degree. Lester says he’s toured multiple campuses across the nation, but nothing appealed him more than the cold winters and steep hills at Western Michigan.

The super super super super super super senior tells The Black Sheep he’s gone through twenty majors, from nursing, aerospace engineering, theatre, history, computer science, film and media studies, and the list goes on. He is currently working on obtaining a sustainable brewing major with a minor in Canadian studies.

“Kalamazoo is known for so much, and I felt that the multiple breweries are a major tourist attraction to the city. It’s about time they made a degree completely dedicated to brewing! And hey, I figured I should study up on the Canadian culture, because they drink a lot too, right?”

Another WMU super senior, Jason Asher, was asked if he’s ever had Tim Lester in one of his classes.

“I’ve seen coach in a few of my classes over the past two years, but I never had the chance to ever talk to him after class.” Asher tells us, “He usually bolts straight out of lecture, which makes sense, if he had school in Michigan and work in Indiana.”

WMU freshman Sydney McGerly also had a few comments on the matter.

“I don’t understand how that guy can do it! But if he’s been studying here at WMU for so long, I can see why Mrs. Beauregard would want such a dedicated Bronco! Now he’s working and learning at the same school, that’ll be a much easier commute.”

However, Tim Lester says he may finally be able to graduate this year, after turning 40 in February.

“Now that I’ve got a full time job here in Kalamazoo, I figured I wouldn’t miss going to class now that my job requires me to be on campus almost every day of the week!”

Tim Lester says in the far off future he will own a microbrewery downtown when he “retires,” after he plans on coaching WMU for at least 25 years.