The Western Michigan University Drunk Food Bracket: The Finals

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Here we are, at long last. Some of you might have been salty over Big Burrito’s close loss in the first round, but that’s March Madness!

The matchups looked close on paper, but after the votes were counted up, the outcomes were never really in doubt. Blaze Pizza advanced to the final round over Domino’s by a triumphant 57 votes, and Two Fellas smashed Big Burrito by 117 votes. This is shaping up for the best matchup yet, so don’t let something ridiculous like LaVar Ball get you distracted from what really matters: The WMU Drunk Food Finals!

Will you vote for Blaze? These trendy “rule unfollowers” try so hard to be relatable you might confuse the sound of your pizza sizzling for woke students snapping to slam poetry. Still, if your drunk mind has a hankering for a pineapple pizza with buffalo sauce and artichokes to boot, you won’t ever do better than Blaze.

Or will it be Two Fellas? The one seed mowed down the competition, despite many of it’s patrons probably not remembering the last time they went in on account of being too blacked out to function. I’ve watched people make new friends and lose old ones waiting for their wraps to come out. I’ve even seen strangers snag each others orders on accident, but have it end up being okay since they both ordered the Bronco. Regardless, there’s no place quite like Two Fellas after midnight.

Who will win the final round? Make-your-own-pizza delight or a grill that helps you “wrap” (groan) up the night? It’s up to you!

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