Happy Easter, bitches! Easter egg hunts are kind of weird if we’re being honest. Like, who came up with them? Whatever, we still made one. See if you can find the Easter eggs on Syracuse’s campus because if you don’t, they will definitely rot. Winner gets free tuition. Maybe.
This egg is hidden where you go when you are not feeling well, or when you slept through class and you need that good good doctors note. Maybe you’ve been misdiagnosed here. Let’s be honest, the people that work here are fucking bad at their jobs. You were definitely misdiagnosed.
We’re just gonna be honest here—this egg is kind of a douchebag. So is everyone else that is in this building. This egg wears suits that are just slightly too big for it, and JUULs because it thinks it’s good for you. We’re gonna bet that everyone in this building’s favorite movie is The Wolf of Wall Street.
Oopsie daisy—looks like this little eggie took a tumble. You probably took a tumble here after a late night freshman year. You probably still take tumbles here if you’ve ever been back since. At least you can thank this place for your killer calves and tight ass.
This egg is hidden in a popular hangout spot in the middle of campus. Think of it as a “nice attic” for your favorite student center. People like to chill here, get some work done, chit chat with friends. We think the theater kids in the middle might also live here, no matter what time of day, they are literally always there. Seriously, we don’t think anyone who hasn’t seen Les Miserable three times has ever touched those couches.
Good luck getting the final egg; Kent’s got that shit down on lock. While we were hiding the eggs on campus he came by and took it. He said “Hey can I look at that egg for a second,” and like total idiots we trusted him. He picked it up and yelled “finders keepers, losers weepers!” and then he took off. He was not at all speedy but we lost the motivation to chase him. He still hasn’t put it down. If anyone touches it, he will expel them on the spot. He made this picture his Facebook profile picture, so we are guessing it’s getting pretty serious.
Start hunting! You don’t want all of Syracuse to smell like old eggs! Well, more so than it already does.
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