Connect with us
Connect with us

Syracuse

4 SU Faculty Members Who Are Definitely Otto the Orange

You’ve seen the anthropomorphic fruit everywhere and while familiarity makes you feel like you know the citrus-filled sweetheart, the truth is very few people know who the guy behind the rind is. Everyday, students wonder which one of their peers is the true spherical hero. The Black Sheep has cracked the code: Otto the Orange isn’t your estranged roommate, but a collection of people from Syracuse University’s own faculty. Don’t believe us? Just wait until you finish this list. Here are four SU faculty members who are definitely Otto the Orange:

4.) Pete Sala:

Just like Otto, Pete is a semi-bald man of mystery. Although he’s Mr. Steal-Your-Inbox, not many people know the guy worked his way up to VP from his start as a production assistant at the Dome, an impressive feat to say the least. As a matter of fact, he’s worked at the Dome since ‘82.  Wait, 35 years in the Carrier Dome, and students leave football games before halftime? Does that not tell you Pete’s stuck? Logic says there’s definitely something anchoring him into the Dome: the fact that he’s
totally Otto the Orange. All the facts are there, and have you seen his face? That’s the face of a guy keeping a secret. The jig is up, Petey!

3.)  Kenneth Kavajecz:

The last time you saw Dean K., he was being driven out of campus followed by cries for his freedom after he was fired for patronizing a prostitute. You’re probably thinking, “he’s former faculty, so he doesn’t count.” But think about it: would a man making $500k a year throw that away for a good time on a random night? Unlikely. Truth is, SU made the whole thing up so the business school dean could leave his desk job and be the mandarin-like mascot he always felt he was inside. Look him up now and you’ll see his court hearing was adjourned six times! Why? Because he committed no crime other than choosing to do what he loves. We salute you, Dean K. Be the orange you were meant to be.

2.) Jim Boeheim:

Have you ever seen Boeheim and Otto in the same place at the same time? You probably have—too many times . It’s like SU’s trying hard to convince you that there’s no way the revered basketball coach could ever be the mascot. But isn’t it likely that a man in one of the most stressful positions on campus is trying to escape his responsibilities by being a massive fruit in his free time? So it seems. You could only hide behind your legacy for so long, Jim. If that is your real name.

1.) Any DPS Officer:

DPS doesn’t have much to do when they’re not killing your weekend. Naturally, though, they have to find a way to stay ahead of the herds, and what better way is there than to take shifts disguising themselves as everyone’s favorite fruit by day. That’s right! You only thought you loved Otto, but the truth is, he’s just a Vitamin C-filled villain gathering intel on where the tailgates are.

 

Think you’re funny enough to write for us, huh? Do ya? Do YA? Apply here

Listen to our podcast!

Continue Reading

More from Syracuse

Advertisement
Advertisement
To Top