Single digit temperatures aside, Syracuse is best known for outrageous school-spirit. Our mediocre basketball team gives us the privilege of throwing weekly tailgates that are definitely something to ride home about! Rain or shine, blizzard or natural disaster, the show must (and always does) go on. But, tailgates at Syracuse are not always rainbows and butterflies (are they ever?). Here are the times SU students almost lost their poor, rundown bodies to death at Castle Court tailgates.
5.) Reaching the brink of hypothermia:
It may be 10 degrees, but you wouldn’t be caught dead with a jacket on. SU students are typically seen flaunting the bare-minimum. Whether it be a “Snipped and Styled” top with the perfect amount of moth holes to let in that icy draft, or that basketball jersey you’ve worn maybe 80 times, you can sure count on every last one of us to look absolutely shameful. Girls pair their partial nudity with some clout-goggles (as if nobody will notice their chattering teeth and purple fingers since they look like a walking meme). Good thing there’s four emergency rooms within a 100-foot radius of us at all times because, by the end of the day, you’ll need three limbs removed.
4.) When beverages become airborne:
As crowds flock to Castle Court, the Mecca of all tailgating spots, a strange phenomenon typically begins when everyone collectively decides they need something to spice up their Snapchat story. Natty Lights ranging from bone-dry to completely-sealed begin to launch through the air in unison. These booze cans fly at an alarming frequency, posing an immediate threat to our well-being. The cacophony of shrieks should be enough for someone to call it quits, but alas, that does not happen. Take cover in a mass of people over six feet tall in order to save yourself from being knocked out upon impact.
3.) Repeating an outfit:
How fucking embarrassing.
Group texts, GroupMe’s and Facebook pages alike erupt with rumors of a relocation as soon as the boys in blue roll through. Exerting yourself up the hills from Castle Court to That-House-Off-Euclid-With-The-Stupid-Name is more than enough to make most students drop dead. Survival of the fittest kicks in. The physical exhaustion wears the weakest links down first, sending a whirlwind of orange and blue stumbling through the doors of Chipotle to refuel for their subsequent nap at 4 p.m. The brave souls who attempted to persevere are typically found unconscious on the corner of Comstock and Waverly. It’s all over.
1.) Getting alcohol poisoning:
Did you even really tailgate if your BAC didn’t reach .399? The only way to do winter tailgates is to overdo. Keep taking that bottle of Strawberry Moscato Andre to the face. Don’t forget to smash it on the ground so someone can step on it and be rushed to urgent care for a tetanus shot. Take the advice from freshman dorm’s bulletin boards on how to save your friend who pushed the envelope a bit too far for the Duke game. Or don’t. Who cares.
Long story short: basketball tailgates in the dead of winter might be more trouble than they’re worth.
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