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5 Reasons Campus Scapegoat Pete Sala to Blame For Syracuse’s Faculty Restaurant Sucking

Syracuse’s Faculty used to be the place to go to fulfill all your in-restaurant needs without all the in-restaurant prices (and without tipping, you cheap bitch). Students used to use the KinzCash on their SUIDs to go grab some slightly-above-average sweet potato fries and call it a day. But recently, Faculty has gone down a very dark and seemingly unforgivable path. The person people are looking to blame? SU construction update’s very own, Pete Sala, and we’ve figured out some reasons why he’s to blame for Faculty going down the shitter. 

5.) His construction updates have slowed down:
Is it not a little ironic that all the construction updates seemed to slow down just as Faculty went from hero to zero? It was not the completion of the promenade but instead Pete Sala’s direct hand in operating all of Faculty’s dining services.

4.) His name:
He has a name that is just absolutely beckoning him to be the manager of a mid-tier dining establishment. This is not a coincidence, people—open your eyes!

3.) There’s a sandwich named after him:
And no one orders it because who the fuck wants a peanut butter and jelly at 12 p.m. on a Tuesday? Not us! 

2.) The weather:
Have you noticed how, oh, we don’t know, it’s late April BUT FEELS LIKE MID-FEBRUARY? It’s a little peculiar how the weather isn’t cooperating, and uncooperative weather has a direct hand in construction not being able to occur. You know what this means: Pete Sala has LITERALLY contacted Mother Nature, given explicit instructions to fuck us over with weather so that Syracuse construction could be on standby JUST so he could continue to operate Faculty like the alien that he is.

1.) His name (again): 
Really gotta double down on his last name. It’s awfully close to a bed of greens, is it not? Sala –> Sala(d) –> Salad? How stupid does he think we are? Seriously.

Wake up, Orange Friends, and see this man for who he truly is. Pete Salad is ruining your favorite lunch destination! There’s simply no other reasoning behind why Faculty is serving you raw shrimp on a bed of old kale.

 

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