We’re wrapping up the year here at Syracuse University, and that can only mean one thing: group projects. There’s a collective understanding among students that the only thing worse than group projects is when Lucy’s ups their cover charge because your ID is “fake,” but we’re still forced into these unpleasant, inefficient assignments. The best part of groups is the people in them; they’re always the same type of person. Let’s take a dive into some of the best archetypes of SU group project members:
Someone’s gotta stalk Blackboard, find their classmates’ emails and send that initial reminder. While everyone else is at Harry’s trying to forget the project even existed, this person is filled with sheer panic that the project won’t get done and can’t resist leading the pack. Of course, this person will always be suckered into doing twice the work than the rest of the group, and spend at least 4 hours alone in a Bird cubbie. But hey, they’ll still feel bad and give everyone else full participation credit on that group evaluation that every Whitman professor loves. These members are suckers, but the group wouldn’t exist without them. It’ll pay off when they actually succeed post-college.
The antithesis of the Try-Hard, this person will resist taking part in even the smallest section of the work, and instead stay hidden and high in their South Campus apartment. In fact, they won’t even speak to the group for the entire duration of the project. Don’t worry about these members, though. They’ll show up on the presentation day, wing it, and probably get a better grade than the Try-Hard. If you’re a successful Off-the-Grid-er, you’ve won college. Congratulations.
There’s always one who isn’t in the same major as the others, and that the others assume will be unable to do anything requiring a 12-year-old level education. This usually transpires by the Whitman kids telling the one Newhouse student/marketing minor that their job can be making the Powerpoint look good. These Minors could be stars, but the majors’ condescension leaves them wallowing in mediocrity. Poor Minors.
The Class Friend:
You know this person. It’s that guy or gal you talked to three times in CAS 101, and therefore feel forced to sit next to in every class you’re in together. Sure, you can make small talk in the first and last five minutes of class, yet you’d never dare interact with them in a Marshall St. environment. When you inevitably end up in the same group as them, it’s a good thing; you have so much more small talk to make now! For instance, “Wow, this group project really sucks.” Actually, that’s about it.
Finally, we have both the best and worst type of group member. The name is misleading, for they are certainly not flirting with you, but in fact just a person of the opposite gender that talks with you a lot (about the project) and maybe pity laughed at the one joke you made. But hey, that’s enough to get your hopes as high as the aforementioned “Off-the-Grid-er.” When you finally do get his or her number (again, solely because of the project) and summon the courage to text them “what are u up to tonight,” it’s a wonderful feeling. That is, until they tell you about the mixer at Chuck’s they’re going to, reminding you of your lonely, hopeless existence on this Earth. But hey, you’ve still gotta love ‘em.