Mayfest is basically the low-budget Coachella of Syracuse University, which means that it is completely overhyped. Year after year, the undergraduates of this university try to forget how lame Mayfest actually is and set out to have the best time ever, but SPOILER ALERT: You’ll have, at best, a semi-OK time. Here are the reasons that you shouldn’t get your hopes up about Mayfest.
5.) It’s not even in May:
Mayfest takes place on April 27, so why the hell is it called Mayfest? Seriously, who came up with that? But you’re going to ignore the name, and you’re still pining after those floor tickets, anyway.
4.) It’s going to rain:
The forecast might say sunny, but it’s definitely going to rain—it always rains. Your hair will be ruined, your crop top will be see through, and you will probably slip in the already muddy mess that is Walnut Park. Bring a rain jacket if you know what’s good for you.
3.) The corn dogs aren’t that good:
Listen, free food is good and free food when your drunk is even better, but those corn dogs that everyone raves about are actually just straight up nasty. They’re soggy, lukewarm, and does anyone really know what type of meat is in there? If you wonder why you’ve gotten sick every single Mayfest after scarfing down three of these bad boys—it probably wasn’t because of the alcohol. You will continue to eat six this year, regardless.
2.) Does anyone know who YBN Nahmir is?:
Might as well add Quinn XCII and Orange Calderon onto that question, because who the fuck are these people? To be honest, after three hours of heavy tailgating prior to the event, you probably won’t even realize that there’s a concert going on.
1.) You won’t make it to Block Party:
Remember when you sold your arm and leg to go see Gucci Mane? Well consider that your worst investment to date. It’s a tale as old as time: You get too fucked up, you say you’re going to take a quick cat nap before the concert, and you wake up the next morning to realize you sold your soul for a ticket that you didn’t even end up using.
Despite all the obvious flaws of this glorified occasion, the entire school still gets to get fucked up together, and what could be more unifying than that? April 27 may not be epic, but you’re bound to only semi-remember it anyway.