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The Definitive Guide to Syracuse Student Stereotypes

As we all know, SU is home to a wide variety of respected and prestigious academic colleges (and Newhouse). And these shelters of academia give way to students that are all largely-bound to their home colleges, and have inevitably developed their own cultures. These bodies of students have been carefully and tediously observed, sort of like a higher-education episode of The Crocodile Hunter. Too soon? Nah. But it is now clear that Syracuse student stereotypes have specific traits that make them easily identifiable. In the vein of the ever-great and no-longer-relevant Jeff Foxworthy, here are those traits:

You might be in Whitman if…
You saw The Wolf of Wall Street and decided that Jordan Belfort is the model for human perfection. You try to look smart and business-y by explaining the causes of the 2008 financial crisis (which everyone who’s seen “The Big Short” can also do). Maybe you didn’t know what you wanted to major in going into college, but your parents wanted to make sure you studied something “hireable.” What a silly thought. It’s called STEM people, ever heard of it? There’s no B for business in those letters.

You might be in Newhouse if…
You love talking about being in Newhouse. You also worship Quentin Tarantino, think Bob Dylan’s Nobel Prize was 20 years too late, and enjoy learning about how the Internet is changing the media landscape. It’s crazy how only communications students understand that! You’re also legitimately offended by the implication that Newhouse isn’t prestigious in first sentence of this article even though you realize it’s a joke.  

You might be in Arts & Sciences if…
Either you have no idea what you want to do when you graduate or you know exactly what you want to do when you graduate. On one hand, there are the future med-school applicants, on the other there are the “pre-law” people. They differentiate between “arts” and “science” for a reason, people.

You might be in the I-School if…
You’re also double-majoring in Newhouse. Your methods of fixing minor technological problems are slightly more advanced than just turning the device off and back on. And you have at least one “friend” that calls you in a panic when their Netflix isn’t loading.

You might be in VPA if…
You’re actually following your passion in college. Kudos to you for not worrying about silly things like “employment.” Just make sure to pick up a minor while you’re at it. Also, the only things needed for your freshmen year were colored pencils, two large pieces of oak tag, scissors and two hours of your time.

You might be in Engineering if…
You describe yourself as a “math and science” guy.  Your social life leaves a lot to be desired. Like existing, for one.

You might be in Architecture if…
You know what “studio” is, you consider yourself a “junior” at age 23, and you get excited driving over bridges.

You might be in Falk/Education/Maxwell if…
You’re not even remarkable enough to warrant a stereotypical joke. Sorry guys.

Of course, no offense is intended to any of the colleges lampooned here. We’re all terrible in our own little ways.

Are you terrible? You’ll love our podcast!

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