All posts tagged "satire"
Student Who Brought Guitar to Party Dies After Having Too Much SexJuly 19, 2018
An autopsy released yesterday revealed that University of Delaware sophomore Daniel Thompson died of “too much...
Columbia Student Takes Red Line Past Roosevelt, Miraculously SurvivesJuly 19, 2018
Danger has never been something to stop journalism major Madelyn Campbell, who this week broke new ground...
5 Indoor Summer Activities to do When You’re Held Hostage by a Mildly-Threatening Wild AnimalJuly 13, 2018
In the midst of his existential crisis between his junior and senior year of college, your...
Hillenbrand Dining Ranked No. 1 ‘OK’ Dining Option in U.S.July 13, 2018
U.S. Food Today, one of America’s critically-acclaimed cuisine ranking systems, has voted Hillenbrand Dining Court as the...
UM Sorority Girl Claims She’s ‘Born-Again Christian’ Suspiciously Soon After She’s Unable to Get LaidJuly 12, 2018
ANN ARBOR — University of Michigan junior Tiffany Stillman has decided to take up Christianity as...
‘I’ll Have The Jägerbomb,’ Says Student Who Seems To Have Lost The Concept Of Real-World Social NormsJuly 11, 2018
SHAKER HEIGHTS — On Monday night, rising college junior Kyle McMorris ordered a Jägerbomb at his...
Area Woman Spent 4th of July Just Like Any Other Day: Guzzling WeinersJuly 9, 2018
Last Wednesday, the U.S. celebrated Independence Day, the federal holiday commemorating the adoption of the Declaration...
Unfortunately, College Quidditch Teams About to Get a Lot More PopularJuly 3, 2018
On Tuesday, the Trump administration repealed affirmative action in the college admissions process, opting for a...
Yikes! Man Who Just Missed Red Line Forced to Wait 4 Minutes For The Next TrainJune 28, 2018
LAKE STATION — Red Line frequenter Mike Allen just missed the train headed toward Howard, forcing...