9 Reasons UTK Should Offer Goat Yoga Classes
Normal yoga too vanilla for your taste? Looking to spice up your stretch life? Ever wonder what your yoga class that you only took for the easy credits would be like if there were goats walking on your back? Well, you can thank the people with too much time and too much money on their hands (Brentwood, TN) for coming up with this idea straight out of a farmer’s wet dream. Here are 10 reasons why UTK should offer goat yoga as an actual class.
9.) Fainting spells would distract from how out of shape you are:
With the introduction of fainting goats to the yoga class, you would have a get out of jail free card if the workout ever got too hard. People staring at you awkwardly, while they’re walking across the Hill? Just scare the goat and people will be so focused on how cute it is to notice how out of breath you are.
8.) Goats are mountain dwellers too!:
Hi, welcome to the University of Tennessee, Knoxville. The land of hills and uncomfortably hot walks to your 8 a.m. Goats are the only animals that love these hills more than our calf muscles do. It just makes sense to bring them into our daily life.
7.) Frat goats:
This is not to undersell how awesome frat dogs are because they’re all good boys. But if this trend takes off, Brian from Theta Iota Theta might be investing in a goat instead of a golden retriever. Drunk girls would be lined up out the door to take pictures, and you’d be the G.O.A.T.
People love to post pictures of themselves working out. Whether it be them at the Aquatics Center, at the top of Chimney Tops or whatever other hiking trip they’ve been on, or after a long run in the Fort. People also love to post pictures with cute animals. Do you see where this is going? This combo could quickly turn into the most annoying photo trend since the invention of the selfie. You’re welcome, Vols.
5.) Like Puppy Zone, but more humane:
Love playing with cute animals, but hate the moral conundrum of whether it’s okay to go to Puppy Zone? Well this is the trend for you. Adorable, non-drugged or milled, domesticated animals? Sign me up.
4.) Back massages:
The whole point of having these goats in the yoga class to begin with is one, relaxation and two, comfort. Your back hurts after one too many trips from the Biology Annex to the Ag Campus? Well, these goats are trained to walk along the participants backs in order to relax the tension in your muscles. Goat yoga will melt that pressure right away with cheerful bahhhhs.
3.) Feed your inner goat love:
It’s a well-known fact that there are more closet goat freaks than any other subgroup of animal fans. Heck, the amount of viral videos containing goats is through the roof. Everyone secretly wants a pet goat, so this class would be a discrete way to get your weird goat fix for an hour or two.
2.) It would finally shut up your gym rat friend:
We all know the dreaded “Hey, why don’t you come to TRecs with me today?” This would finally give you a reason to go to the gym with your friends. Who can focus on Jeanine explaining the upward tree position when there’s a goat in your line of sight? Herd all your friends into this fenced in area and set them loose.
1.) Moo Moo:
Just look at this goat, and tell me that you don’t want to try out this yoga class. Are you a monster? Look at her kind eyes and that sleek, black fur. She’s the local favorite for a reason. Her bahhhs are iconic.
Honestly, this is a trend that needs to catch on in more things. Goat Spin class, goat crossfit, and goat Zumba are the top contenders. Drag your best friend or really lazy boyfriend to your workout class and enjoy the free babysitting these goats provide.