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5 UTK-Branded Products That Should Never Have Seen The Light of Day

The University of Tennessee loves to smack that orange on any product they can because they know Vols will pay top dollar for the “wonderful” color. Sometimes they take it a little too far and release products that should never have seen the light of day, let alone the homes of UT fans and alumni. These relics, found in the depths of Knoxville thrift stores and the corners of the Internet, are guaranteed to haunt your Big Orange nightmares.

5.) R-O-C-K! cup:

While there is nothing wrong with capitalizing on recognizable features on campus, a cup dedicated to a giant piece of stone is not exactly what comes to mind. On one hand, it could definitely start a conversation — if that conversation is about rocks. On the other hand, it’s a bit questionable to release a product that assumes your fans can’t spell the word “rock.”

Grade: Rock bottom.

4.) Rough waves:

While Hawaiian shirts are not exactly the most dignified thing you can put on your body, even the average Hawaiian shirt-wearer would raise an eyebrow to the awkward cluster of color and almost forced logo placement on this piece. Besides, there is very little about a university located in the Southeastern U.S. that really screams “Hawaiian!”

Grade: Not tubular.

3.) He-who-must-not-be-named:

It seems almost sinful that this would be sold somewhere so close to UT. Alas, it is. While this may not exactly be as ugly as the other items on this list, it definitely deserves to be named and shamed. We have moved on and deserve to erase the memories of this from our minds — and our thrift shops.

Grade: Butch, please!

2.) Business “casual”:

Whether you’re wearing this sport coat ironically or not, it’s definitely not worth $40, plus shipping. It’s cheesy, purposefully ugly (and not in a good way), and is probably already in Phillip Fulmer’s closet.

Grade: All dressed up, and no dignity.

1.) Putrid pom-poms:

Okay, gloves off… and please keep them off. These might (in theory) supply the world’s greatest jazz hands, but they deserve to rot in the spot that they hang. They’re really just a bad idea. When you’re on the verge of passing out from exposure to these cursed objects, how are you going to phone for help? Your pom-pom-bedecked fingers won’t even be registered by your iPhone. That may be a worst-case scenario, but…fuck these gloves.

Grade: Hands-down awful.

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