As the 2016 season comes to a close and the bowl-eligible teams begin to fit into their places, it becomes apparent that college football is hard to predict. With a team like Tennessee being expected to be in the Sugar Bowl one week, only to fall to the Taxslayer Bowl the next, nothing is ever quite set in stone until the final games have been played. But The Black Sheep is pretty confident about 2017’s bowl games — here is what we think the 2017 bowl game season is going to look like.
Second-Half Bowl: Tennessee vs Toledo
Two teams that excel on the field…as long as halftime has already passed. These two teams battling in a half-exciting, half-frustrating fight to the finish would tear the roof off, but not before fans tear their hair out.
Overhype Bowl: New Coke vs Georgia
Saying Georgia was just a little overhyped this year is almost like saying New Coke was only slightly disliked, so why not let them battle in a bowl game of overrated supremacy? Hopefully this bowl game is overhyped too.
Great Again Bowl: Florida vs Trump University
Being that Florida was one of the states that guaranteed Trump the victory over Hillary, it seems fitting that Florida should battle Trump University, seeing as they may just know each other like the back of their hands.
Lane Kiffin Dedication Bowl: Tennessee vs USC
A bowl game dedicated to Lane Kiffin would be absolutely incomplete without two of his most infamous abandonments – The Vols and the Trojans. The only issue may be keeping the teams from fighting Kiffin himself instead of each other.
Basketball Season Bowl: Kentucky vs Duke
Nothing quite cheers up a Kentucky or Duke fan quite like hearing “we still have basketball season.” That being said, football season hasn’t yet been wiped off the face of the earth. Next year, plan on seeing these teams battle for one last beam of hope on the gridiron, not the court.
Bandwagon Bowl: Alabama vs New England Patriots
With fanbases as dedicated (to the team that’s winning) as these teams, it could shatter records (or fanbases) to see the two Goliaths of football fight to decide just who has the fanbase to be jumped on by more people.
We Still Exist Bowl: Ole Miss vs MySpace Tech
It took more than a handful of Google searches to even find either of these. Apparently, not only are the Ole Miss Rebels still a thing, they are still in the SEC! Just like its competition, MySpace, this is a battle that many want to see, although most will forget about it five minutes after conclusion.
Participation Bowl: South Carolina vs Clemson Middle School
Well, South Carolina, you tried. To be honest, you did pick up a few good wins along the way. What makes it all matter, though, is that you tried. For that, here’s a little trophy and a bowl game with a local middle school team. Hope they don’t give you too much trouble.
SportsCenter Shit-list Bowl: Tennessee vs Literally every other team besides Alabama
Herbstreit needs to stay far away from this bowl game as it is less a football game and more something you’d see in WWE. Every team going against SportCenter’s personal rival, Tennessee. The last team standing gets to claim the spot at the tippy-top of Sportcenter’s shit-list…. what an honor.
You went drinking, now you’re stuck pooping. How’s that going for ya?