5 Dumb Phrases You Only Hear from Longhorns at ACL

author-pic at Texas Austin  

UT is the best university you’ll find in the South, but let’s face it, ACL brings out a whole different side of us. Maybe it’s the fact it’s always scheduled around the same time as midterms, and we’re right in the middle of our mental breakdowns. Regardless, Longhorns at ACL say some dumb stuff, here are just a few phrases you might hear:

5.) “I came to see this indie band, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, ever heard of them?”:This doesn’t mean you’re hipster, you just really have a passion for music. You have to have a finger on the pulse of the music scene to know obscure bands like this. They sound a lot like if Vampire Weekend and Radiohead had a music baby. Those bands are just a bit more well-known.  Ask them if they know “Eyes of Texas” by Greg Fenves, though… nope, never heard that song.

4.) “Dude, I’m so lucky I even got to come. I just bought a super cheap wristband from the UT Buy/Sell page!”:

Just to clarify, getting a 3-day pass for $250 when they’re normally $255 isn’t the best deal unless you decided to use your textbook funds instead since you aren’t studying for that midterm anyways. Maybe next year you can try to get a wristband for a little less, like $230, and you can use the twenty dollars you saved to mail one transcript! Fingers crossed you get into the graduate school of your dreams!

3.) “Hey, someone just offered to give us Molly for just $30. You guys wanna Venmo him?”:

We’re not saying it 100% isn’t Molly. What we are saying is, “Dude what the fuck, have some higher standards for yourself.” You didn’t leave your endless hours at the PCL for this kind of nonsense. For those of you who have fallen for this… that’s rough. Hey, maybe if you get bumped into enough and stumble around a lot at Jay-Z, you can tell your friends it’s just because it was a bad trip?

2.) “Oh nice, this water comes in a can for just 3 dollars more than bottled water. Austin is so hip!”:

Remember when you first moved to UT from your tiny hometown where everyone only hung out at either Whataburger or Starbucks? As doe-eyed as you were about everything, you told yourself you wouldn’t be that guy who freaked out about everything. Well, we’ve got some bad news for you, you’re freaking out.

1.) “I know we’re probably going to miss Solange, but we need a picture at the frame!”: Pics or it didn’t happen, right? The perfect way to round out your ACL experience is to capture your annual photo at everyone’s favorite spot. And the best part is, you’re totally in natural lighting so of course, you’ll look good! For an original idea, maybe do the High School Musical jump with your friends!!  

Don’t blame yourselves for the stupid words coming out of your mouths Longhorns, blame it on Austin City Limits.