Like most students, you’ve struggled to find a nice spot to study on UT’s forty acres. It’d be nice to find a place away from the noise so that you can focus, but with nice aesthetics so you aren’t depressed studying for an exam you’re doomed to fail. This is not a list about that; please stay away from these places if possible:
7.) Littlefield Home:
What purpose does this unused, outdated building on UT still serve? Probably something racist. To make matters worse, Littlefield sits on prime real estate, meaning that we’re being cheated out of parking spaces and/or another Starbucks. Also, it’s definitely haunted. For sure.
For all you liberal arts majors out there, the dilapidated, creaking floor panes of Gebauer Hall are sure to have you in cold sweats, making you cautiously walk over to your advising appointment. If you’re one of the LA undeclared’s forced to use this facility, the fact that you have no direction in life will be the least of your problems.
Built just sixty years ago (pretty young for a UT building), Parlin feels like it was constructed in 1883. Complete with shoddy air conditioning systems, claustrophobic hallways, and bathrooms that have aged as well as Donald Trump’s physique, Parlin has everything you need to make you switch out of that English major.
A constant reminder to keep up with your antidepressants, UT’s largest library happens to also be the most dismal. Built to resemble a prison, students constantly find themselves trapped in row after row of endless books. Rumor has it that one freshman in the class of 1987 got lost in the labyrinth for so long he went insane and has been roaming the sixth floor ever since.
3.) Music Building:
It’s literally falling apart at the seams. If UT has the money to build a useless pedestrian bridge over Dean Keeton, it should have the money to rebuild the house of our world-class marching band. With UT football and basketball constantly living in mediocrity, a good band remains all Texas has left to brag about.
2.) Jester West:
Razor thin walls, community bathrooms, and inferior cable and internet can only spell a hellish existence at UT’s most popular dormitory. Don’t believe what everyone says about how convenient it is to live on campus. It’s better to commute from Houston every day than live at J West.
1.) Jester East:
Imagine Jester West, but with black mold everywhere.
The next time you begin to ponder just how much UT has started to noticeably deteriorate, at least be thankful that you don’t have class in any of these places. If you do live or have classes here, it’s never too late to transfer.
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