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McCombs Student Becomes Tolerable Following New Year’s Resolution to Be a Decent Human Being

McCombs student, Jason Bradley, shocked both friends and family shortly after midnight on January 1st when he made a Facebook post announcing his intentions of being a better person.

“I knew he was serious because he didn’t even paste his LinkedIn profile at the bottom of the post,” Bradley’s mother, Deborah, told us. “I couldn’t be more thrilled! It’s already been a few weeks, and not once has he told me I should consider investing in Bitcoin.”

Since the announcement, Bradley has made numerous changes in his everyday life, such as making casual small talk without exchanging contact information and keeping his anger in check when the Starbucks barista makes his cappuccino wrong. He says he even knowingly sold all three of his copies of The Wolf of Wall Street to a thrift shop at less than their market value.

“Selling my Blu-rays was definitely one of my tougher moments, I could feel myself slipping into a patronizing rant at the store,” Bradley tells us as he shifts uncomfortably in his normal clothing of jeans and a t-shirt. “The fact that I could make it through that transaction without yelling at the cashier told me that I actually could be a decent, likable person. The cashier even smiled and said, ‘Have a good day!’ as I left. All this time and I didn’t realize all you had to do is respect people to be respected!”

Unlike his mother, Bradley’s friends, most of which are also in the McCombs School of Business, are less than thrilled at his newfound kindness and empathy for other people.

“I don’t know man, I just don’t see how this change will be beneficial in the long-run,” Bradley’s roommate, Garrett Ryan, told us. “If you look at the pros and cons of this resolution, you can clearly see that Jason will not only lose the superficial respect of his friends, but more importantly, he’ll miss out on networking opportunities we’ll have this semester. But I will say that he’s been nicer to me lately, he even asked me how my family was doing when I got back from break.”

There’s no telling if Bradley will keep to this resolution, though at time of publication, he was struggling to hide his blatant disgust at a homeless person who had asked him for spare change.

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