Finals week is finally here, and many UT students have begun to spend their free time productively going over a semester’s worth of notes. However, other UT students have spent the semester in a cycle of alcohol, hangovers, and telling themselves “I’ve earned this day off” and are now freaking out because they don’t know what the hell is going on in any of their classes. These students will need as much help as they can get, and The Black Sheep is here to help them cope during this stressful time. Here are 5 places you can resort to when you haven’t studied all semester and are completely unprepared for your UT finals:
5.) Waggener bathroom stalls to question life:
So maybe you’ve just realized that bullshitting your way through the semester may not have been the wisest choice. Sure, you’ve managed to coast your way through homework and discussions, but you know you don’t have the skills to pass an exam with zero knowledge of the subject. While many bathrooms at UT provide a confined space for you to sit and blankly stare at superficial conversations on the walls, Waggener Hall offers you incredible profound graffiti to read. Do you even exist? What’s the point of all of this? Staring at questions like this for a few minutes will ease your fear of failure because you’ll tell yourself it actually doesn’t even matter.
4.) Littlefield Fountain to cry:
Let’s say that it’s been a while since you’ve gone to class and you just went to because you wanted to know what the deal was with the exam. You went in feeling like you could still scheme your way through this and you almost broke down when the professor informed the class that the final will be closed-book and cumulative. Hold it in until after class and make your way over to Littlefield Fountain where you can hide your tears by submerging yourself in the water.
3.) Texas Union for comfort food:
If you’ve already accepted that there is a huge chance you’ll fail the exam, you’re sad about it. Fear not, Wendy’s and Chick-fil-A is here for you. Eating your sadness won’t help you pass in any way, but it’ll make you forget about it while you’re snacking on an 8-piece nuggets.
2.) South Mall Lawn to lay down and accept failure:
You’re not going to pass the exam, which means you probably won’t pass the course. You know this and you’re trying your best to stay calm about it. The South Mall Lawn can help with that. If you want to scream out your frustration with your constant self-sabotage, lay face-up and let it out, other students will know what you’re going through and leave you alone.
1.) The PCL for everything:
The bane of your existence has now become your greatest comfort. The PCL has everything for you. If you still have a naïve hope of miraculously passing your exam, use the PCL to study whatever notes you do have. If you’re determined to teach yourself a whole course in a matter of hours, the PCL is perfect. If you feel like you’re alone as a failure just look around, you’ll see many other students on the verge of tears and that should give you some comfort. You can use the computers to Google possible jobs that don’t need a degree, or which organs you don’t need. And if you’re lucky, you might be able to escape reality for a few minutes by getting stuck in an elevator.
Hopefully these five places will help those UT students who haven’t opened their textbooks all semester. Maybe you won’t pass, but you can fail without thinking it’s the end of the world.
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