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UT COLA to Name Change to COCA-COLA Blocked by Pepsi, Students

AUSTIN, TEXAS- A few weeks ago a group of passionate students from the College of Liberal Arts and The Young Conservatives of Texas went to to UT Student Government in attempt to rename the College of Liberal Arts (or, COLA), to College of Conservative Arts and the The College of Liberal Arts , COCA-COLA. Although the proposal was meant draw attention to issues with political debate and rhetoric on campus, it didn’t stop soda brand Pepsi from taking notice.

After two weeks of planning, Pepsi’s entire executive board came to UT to make a $300 million bid for the naming rights to the College of Liberal Arts. After the Pepsi proposal, students immediately voiced their opinions.

Dana, a representative from the College of Liberal Arts, said to Pepsi “You guys realize the COCA-COLA thing wasn’t like real, it was symbolic to promote positive political debate at UT.” After a lawyer conveyed this message to Pepsi CEO, Indra Nooyi, she responded with “Thank you so much for your suggestion, we will take it into consideration.”

Jack, a McCombs representative, stood during the meeting to defend Pepsi and their proposition “I’m done with all you communist pigs, Pepsi is here with a true and honest mission that we need to respect.” He proceeded to down an entire liter of Pepsi and was spotted handing his resume to the CEO after the meeting.

AJ, a senior McCombs student who is working for PepsiCo this coming Fall, stated “Coke over Pepsi? Are you joking? Pepsi tastes so much better and is better for you.” AJ also stated that he prefers Shark Tale to Finding Nemo and buys bottom-shelf cereal.

After asking UT President Gregory Fenves his reaction to the bid, he stated “Listen bro, Pepsi sucks ass. I’m honestly more of a Dr. Pepper guy but I’ll always go for a Coke. Pepsi on the other hand tastes like Bevo’s anus”.

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