AUSTIN, TEXAS – Shortly after Spring break, UT President Greg Fenves announced via Twitter that the UT website, www.utexas.edu, is now under construction and can not be used until further notice.
This comes after the website received around 50,000 clicks during the last week, roughly the average amount of clicks expected for a large, public university.
“This type of crash is totally normal. Especially for things we build on campus. It’s actually kind of funny,” said President Fenves, chuckling while taking a sip of a milkshake. Seated next to him is Carl Caphne, a UT employee.
“This happens every couple of months, its expected. That’s why things are always breaking at UT. Why make something sustainable, when you can just make something that needs to be repaired every so often so you can ensure it works?” said Caphne, the head website technician at UT. “That question was rhetorical.”
“It’s a pretty flawless planning practice. It makes sure we hit all of our points,” added Fenves.
Many technicians and planners around UT think exactly like Caphne, claiming their work can be shut down every so often even it means students can’t use it. Even when it’s something really useful or popular, like the website or Speedway, constant repairs always trump student priority.
“Sure it’s a lot of work and probably could be avoided. But that’s not us. That’s not the UT way.”
At the time of this publication, the website is still down, Speedway is still under construction, and the clock in the tower is reported to have been permanently stopped at 4:20.
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: