As students celebrate the Spooky Season™, some local friends are experiencing something truly frightful: interpersonal tension. According to several sources, the group simply can’t agree on how to organize themselves as the cast of Scooby-Doo.
“Listen, I don’t think I’m a prima donna for not wanting to be Scooby-Doo,” said senior Doug Segal. “I’m just a little upset because I quite clearly called dibs on Fred back during welcome week when we first started talking about this.”
The drama allegedly began when Segal was told that his roommate, Terry Wellick, would be going as Fred. Segal’s claims of calling “dibs” on the character have been disputed by his compatriots.
“Look, I don’t really remember hearing him claim Richard,” said Wellick. “If anything, I vaguely remember him calling Shaggy, which really just makes no sense considering Shaggy is supposed to be skinny, and Doug is built like a tater-tot-loving frat boy 15 years past his prime.”
In addition to the rift between Segal and Wellick, this discord has created fractures between every member of the once inseparable friend group.
“I’m a little pissed that Terry lobbied for Angela to be Daphne when she’s clearly more of a Velma,” said fellow friend Maggie Rogers. “And I know Terry only did that because they drunkenly hooked up back in sophomore year and Terry just wants to rekindle the flame. He just can’t move on.”
Not all of these once faithful friends are sparring. Through the chaos, an unexpected source of neutrality has arisen.
“Listen, man. I just want to go out and have fun with my friends,” said Clark Kopachek, aka Shaggy. “This entire costume was my idea, but I really don’t care that much. Maybe we should all have been more emotionally honest with each other to prevent this kind of pettiness. I hope we figure this out.”
It remains to be seen whether these friends will be able to settle their creative and personal issues before Halloween, or if they’ll allow this silly squabble to destroy their friendship.