On the off chance you’re procrastinating your dead week studies right now and reading some stupid article on Facebook, we have a special reminder just for you: finals start in three days. Yup, three. You’re fucked aren’t you? Well don’t worry we are too, and so fucked have those gone before us been as well.
And if you’re really desperate don’t worry, because The Black Sheep has amassed a list of the best fire alarms to pull in the last case scenario.
6.) GPB Second Floor:
It’s already criminal that you have to walk all the way to GPB to take a friggin final, so might as well really go for it and commit an actual crime. Don’t worry about getting caught, it’ll take the fire department twenty minutes to get there too.
5.) Dwinelle Left Side:
The classic fire alarm to pull. The premature end of many a Math 1B midterm, and the rare signifier of an actual fire. However, it’s honestly a little unoriginal. But, in a pinch, it’ll do.
4.) This one on the ceiling in Barrows:
It’s not actually a fire alarm you can pull, but maybe if you light a match under it or something it will go off. No harm in trying!
3.) Dwinelle Right Side:
Unquestionably better than Dwinelle left side. C’mon, look at the tasteful wear on handles and the beauty of its location. Plus the left fire alarm is so been there done that. Don’t you wanna be original?
2.) New Moffit:
You won’t get anyone out of their finals, but you’ll make a statement about those annoying assholes who claim a seat for like 48 hours. Why are you sleeping at the library? Just go home!
1.) RSF Men’s Locker Room:
The fire alarm in the men’s locker room in RSF is by far your best option to pull, for many reasons. One, a sense of danger. This is the only place that pulling a fire alarm can get you arrested for a felony and make you see some old guy’s penis. Furthermore, when that alarm rings you’ll evacuate both your final and those ass holes who still found time to work out during finals week.
So if you’re fucked like us, these are all the fire alarms you need to pull before your next exam, and really, be everyone’s hero! Good luck!
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