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8 Things At Cal You’d Be Thankful For… If They Actually Existed

The holiday season is here, and it’s time for Cal students to start thinking about what they are thankful for. Of course, students typically put UC Berkeley among family, friends, and Karl Marx at the top of their “thankful” lists. However, UC Berkeley is lacking in many amenities that one would usually be grateful for, so we’ve compiled of eight things about Cal that you would be thankful for, well, if they actually existed.

8.) Guaranteed housing:
This would definitely top our list of things to be thankful for. The security of having somewhere to rest your head at night and a comfortable place to call your home is definitely something to be grateful for. Too bad UC Berkeley would rather accept half of the state of California and shove five students in a Unit 3 closet than provide housing for all. 

7.) Financial aid:
Nothing says “we care about our students and their needs” like waiting six hours in Sproul Hall only to get your financial aid request declined. But trust us, if our school actually gave sufficient financial aid, we would be so thankful, so happy, and so financially stable!

6.) Open classes:
Did someone say “open classes,” because we would definitely be thankful about those? With open classes, you wouldn’t have to stay up crying while you watch your spot on the waitlist not move, and maybe even a political science major could get into a political science class. The thought of that is so beautiful and we would just be head over heels for open classes, but too bad for us, because they don’t exist.

5.) Toilet paper in the bathrooms:
Nothing says “kicking it back old school,” like living in the time before toilet paper was invented because that’s what it feels like it any bathroom in Dwinelle Hall. Now don’t get us wrong, we would be so thankful for clean bathrooms, toilet paper, and soap, we just don’t remember what that feels like.

4.) Open dialogue about controversial issues:
Wow, we would be so thankful if UC Berkeley encouraged difficult conversations and provoking dialogue, but too bad for us because that literally never happens. The thought of maybe getting to know someone with *trigger warning* different ideological viewpoints than your own is something we could really get behind.

3.) Academic Advisors who are available:
Yep, we just went there. We would love help figuring out our lives and navigating CalCentral. Seriously though, we would be so thankful for available academic advisors that we would probably even use them! We guess we’ll just continue relying on Berkeleytime, and that annoying girl in our sorority who claims that Anthro 113B is the most enlightening class ever, to plan our schedules.

2.) Safety:
Wowzers! Feeling safe at school! Who would have thought? That is definitely something to be grateful for. Too bad someone gets robbed at knifepoint every other day, and half the laptops at Cal have been stolen in the last two weeks. Well maybe we do have Nixle to be grateful for. Nothing screams safety like sending out an email that someone was murdered, two years after it happened.

1.) One good sports team:
Yeah, that would be pretty nice.

Although all of those things are pretty great, students at Cal need to be thankful for what they do have. For example, grade deflation, weekly protests, people who want to ban meat, and so many other great things!

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