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6 Things Cal Students Do Everyday That Would Get Them A Degree From Stanford

Stanford may have a low acceptance rate, but we wouldn’t know because we don’t care enough to look it up. Don’t look it up. Either way, we’ve compiled a cheat sheet with all the ins and outs of getting a degree at Stanford the nontraditional way. Here is a list of activities that you have most likely done, and surprise, any one of them will get you a degree at Stanford!

6.) Slept for eight hours:
While this may be a seemingly hard task to accomplish during midterm szn at UC Berkeley, it is actually a prerequisite for getting a degree at Stanford. All students are required to sleep for a total of eight hours per night, and they must complete a maximum of two hours of homework within their tenure at the university. So if you have ever had the chance to sleep in, then you also have the chance to get a degree at Stanford. Go Trees!

5.) Confronted your roommate:
If you have had the guts to tell your roommate that you’re sick of her leaving her clothes, food, books, and dignity all over your shared 5’x5’’ Unit 3 floor, then you also deserve a degree from Stanford. Even if you fear the looming presence of your roommate and have no intention of confronting the fact that her alarm each morning is a different Nickelback song, we’ll still be nice and throw a Stanford degree at you! The mere ability to have a roommate might as well be enough to get you a degree.

4.) Went to Odesza:
Going to an Odesza concert has essentially the same requirements as getting a degree from Stanford. You just have to be willing to pay. So congrats, if you can pay large sums of money to experience EDM music, flashing strobe lights and stimulation overload for 3 hours, you can also pay large sums of money to get a degree from Stanford. Who’s excited to flash those Benjamins!

3.) Looked at the Campanile:
Now calm down for a second, this task is a lot harder than it seems and is worthy of at least some praise. You had to be within viewing radius of the Campanile, and you even had to move your neck. This deserves a pat on the back and a degree from Stanford. Good job!

2.) Scrolled through UCBMFET:
This task could get you a Bachelor’s degree, a Ph.D., and probably a job as a professor at Stanford. This proves that you have access to, and the ability to use a computer, know how to right-click and that you enjoy wasting your time! Stanford is easily the place for you. Go ahead, get a degree or five for all we care!

1.) Remembered to breathe:
We all have to breathe, or that annoying thing where we die will happen. It’s not that hard but requires just enough effort that accomplishing it would be worthy of a degree at Stanford. So go ahead, tell the Stanford admissions office that you know how to breathe, have a pulse, and a checkbook, and they’ll let you right in!

So next time you find yourself thinking that Stanford is a difficult school, just remember that there are many tasks that literally any person on earth could do that will get them a degree from Stanford.

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