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A Judgmental Map of Greek Row, Just in Time for Spring Rush

Spring Rush is in full swing people, and for all of you potential douchebags out there, it can be pretty confusing where to look. Thankfully, we created a map of Greek Row to help you find your way around. That way, you little buggers who waited until spring to join a cult will know where you can awkwardly stand in a circle and talk about Chance the Rapper.

 

White Bread:
Here Kyle, Derek, and Chad will introduce you to their brothers ranging from blonde to blonder. 

SoCal Bros:
Whether they went to CDM or Pali high school, they know where to get some bitchin’ Mexican food. Also they punch each other for sport.

SoCal Bros But Shorter:
Basically the same thing as the aforementioned Bros but more travel sized. Not good at reaching high shelves though.

Basically a Co-op:
We’re not sure why they’re considered a fraternity, but it’s the least disgusting house you’re going to find in Berkeley. Plus they put up a giant inflatable gorilla for holiday decorations.

Morally objectionable places except for when you’re blacked out on game day:
Unfortunately, the Spring semester doesn’t have any game days. But I mean like #tophouse so worth eternal damnation sure to come following 4 years on the Corner of Darkness amiright?

Why would you even walk this far?:
Literally unless you’re in SK and for some reason rushing a frat or you’re in Clark Kerr (which you probably aren’t, considering you didn’t do fall rush), then there’s always gonna be another mountain, you’re always gonna wanna make it move every time you have to do food runs for brothers. 

Swole Central:
As long as you’re rushing a frat, you might as well work out where the frat bros work out. It’s basically like Wurster, but a gym. 

Meh, Meh-er, Meh-est:
Do you even know from looking at the map what each of these houses are? Probably not. And that’s the issue.

Probably will kick you out:
And it will probably be a relief.

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