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Breaking: Republicans Replace Obamacare with SHIP

Yesterday, in Washington D.C., Republicans’ health care repeal made it through the House of Representatives by four votes, which means Republicans are well on their way to implementing their new health care plan: SHIP.


“Originally we were gonna implement our shitty healthcare plan called the American Health Care Act, but then we were like, ‘let’s go with a little less shitty plan called SHIP.’” House Speaker, Paul Ryan explained.



The American Health Care Act was apparently designed by a bunch on intelligent politicians, but is legitimately worse than a shitty college health care program.


“Yeah I mean like I hate SHIP, but it’s much better than the American Health Care Act. Like, that thing is shit.” Sophomore Jud Smithson commented.


Furthermore, some are happy because no upper-class people will be able to waive SHIP like they did by paying Obamacare because literally no one knows how to get out of SHIP.


“Oh people think they’ll be able to get out of SHIP like they did for Obamacare? I’ve been trying for the past four years and I still can’t soooo… good luck!” Junior, Sam Zachary lamented.


Now that Republicans plans have made it through the House of Representatives, it is now onto the Senate. The Black Sheep interviewed some ASUC senators to see how they would vote because we couldn’t reach actually important US Senators.


“Hi sorry, I’m not campaigning anymore so I don’t really care.” Commented ASUC Senator Ian Bullit.


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