How To Tell if You’re A Cal Humanities Major Over Dead Week
Here at UC Berkeley we all have hard schedules, three essays, four finals and just one week to plan it all. There are a few select students who don’t have this stressful schedule, that is our friends in the humanities department. The film majors, the media studies groupies, and who can forget the sociology kids? Here’s how to tell if you fall into that group this Dead Week.
8.) You Take Care Of Your Mental Health:
Who has time to care about their mental health? That’s for lame people! Film Majors totally have a lot of time to care about themselves. Ya, well we’re in EECs so I’ve been stressed for the past 20 years.
7.) You Shower:
Showering is so lame. Only people who have time on their hands can do that. Know who has a lot of time? People with easy majors!
6.) You Drink Literally Every Night:
We’re not jealous. No, it’s fine. Like, we don’t wanna drink anyway. We like staying at home and coding for ten hours straight. It’s fun!
5.) You Catch Up On Sleep:
Who has time for sleeping? Well if your only homework this Dead Week is to write a five-page, double-spaced essay you probably do. And… who has that as their homework? You English Majors.
4.) You Watch Movies for “Homework”:
We all know that film major, the one who says “No, this film is for homework.” Sureee it is. Now have fun watching the rest of the Harry Potter films for “class.”
3.) You Scroll Through Facebook:
Bio majors are trying to learn the secrets of medicine, and you polisci majors literally have one final. So, you spend your time scrolling through Facebook, checking the latest memes and Facebook fights. You maybe even made a meme about sorority girls!
2.) You Write Articles:
Your polisci major is “hard,” but let’s be honest, most of your class is athletes who don’t pay attention. So instead of studying you wake up and write some articles.
1.) You Leave The House:
You can tell an EECs major because they haven’t left the house in three days. English majors on the other hand have visited SF with their friends, and seen the light of day.
If any of those applied to you, you may find yourself in Berkeley’s humanities department. Good luck, we’re not jealous at all, or anything.