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UC Berkeley Gears Up To Win Natty Light Scholarship

Intelligence, extracurriculars, and leadership: all skills you don’t need for the Natty Light Scholarship. Natural Light will be giving away $1,000,000 to 25 lucky alcoholics in order to settle potential brain damage lawsuits from their products pay off their student debt. Candidates must submit a short video showcasing their grit, determination, and dedication to Natty Light and, less importantly, college. Only the “best” will win, reflecting the companies motto “Only desperate college kids drink our beer.” We talked to some Cal students and staff about this marketing move.

“The way I see it, this is a bold move,” Haas Business professor, James Jamison said. “Rewarding college students for drinking that’s something we can all get behind. Unlike paying student athletes, obviously.”

With the use of wit and creativity, even the media studies department is trying to get in on the action.

“This is a valuable educational moment that we need to take advantage of. Social media videos are the new wave of advertising in America,” highlighted Media Studies Professor Rushin Limbah. “Plus I need the money.”

This campaign has created a lot of excitement especially with Berkeley’s Greek life.

“I’m gonna win,” remarked Phi Tau President Chad Leggins “I have all the qualities that make Natural Light great. I’m white, I’m swole, and I’m all natural baby.”

We asked Leggins what he was going to do in his video.

“Oh bro. I’ve got it all figured out. It’s gonna be great. I mean it’s simple. I… uhhhhhhhhhhhhh… I’m gonna smash a Natty Light on my head and scream Amuricuh!”

Other students are going for a more analytical style of video.

“I’m going to deduce the statistical convention of the brand of Natural Light in regards to their log monitoring in the Western plains of Missouri in my video,” schemed sophomore EECS major, Hu Jintao. “This will correlate to their GDP of 1997 and will overall prove that I deserve this scholarship.”

When asked if he has ever had a Natty Light, Jintao said he “doesn’t do drugs.”

Although there is large support for this scholarship, some are vehemently against it.

“This is disgusting. We are celebrating toxic masculinity,” argued feminist Alexandra Kanich. “What’s next, a sport where rednecks race cars by driving in circles?”

Despite both strong support for and against this scholarship, its success is astounding. After multiple candidates have won, surprisingly neither Leggins nor Jintao, there are still many scholarships left. Berkeley Financial Aid has told all incoming freshmen to apply in order to “lessen the strain on the budget” and so that students “might have a little fun once in a while.” With that, The Black Sheep calls all Cal students to send in videos immediately. If you win, contact our office and in addition to the $40,000 scholarship from Natural Light, we will take you out for all-expenses paid dinner at Crossroads.

Know anyone at one of these schools?

UNC-Wilmington –$100 BOUNTY
University of Arizona — $300 BOUNTY!
Texas A&M Corpus Christi — $100 bounty!
Auburn — $100 bounty!
Penn State — $100 bounty!
Indiana — $100 bounty!
SUNY Oswego — $100 bounty!

Refer a friend for a marketing job, get $$$$ if they’re hired!

DM our twitter and we’ll take it from there!
EASY MONEY!

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