One of the hands-down worst things about winter quarter (besides the existential dread of being stuck with only a week worth of break to look forward to) is that it rains. Like all the time. And having to be on campus is bad enough without having the clouds cry on you. So, here is a list of the six most amazing possibilities you have to hide from the rain.
6.) Under a professor’s desk in their office:
Trust me, it’ll work great. You just have to run into their office screaming and jump under their desk and they will totally understand. This is important though. In order for this plan to work you must make sure that you’re soaking wet. They may give you a weird and concerned look or yell at you but that’s just their way of telling you that they get it to stand your ground.
5.) In one of the lockers at Haring Hall:
Have you ever been shoved into a locker? This is kind of like that, only you are the one doing the shoving so it’s less emotionally traumatic and looks much weirder. This plan is very simple. Step 1: pick out a locker. Step 2: get inside of said locker. Step 3: stay in the locker and wait until the rain is gone.
4.) In the mystical underground plumbing tunnels:
If you go to UCD you’ve heard about the tunnels under the school. Which, in theory, sounds awesome and convenient but in reality, are super dark, dirty and used mostly for maintenance. But, when it’s pouring rain, pretty much anything is better than being outside. So, you just have to find a way into the tunnels and then crouch down behind a large pipe and voila! You are safe! Just try not to get stuck in there or murdered or anything. Dun, dun, duuuuuuun.
3.) In the bathroom of Veihmeyer Hall:
If you’ve seen the first Harry Potter movie you felt bad for the way Harry had to live. I mean the poor boy was stuck living under a staircase for fuck sake. Then again he never got rained on or anything. So, the next time it rains you should rush to Veihmeyer Hall and hide in the weird bathroom hidden underneath the staircase. Nothing can hurt you down there.
2.) In one of the weird fridges in Haring Hall:
So, we all know that Haring Hall used to be a veterinarian hospital. And if you’ve ever been inside you’ve seen those giant industrial refrigerators with the huge signs that say, “KEEP OUT.” Well, not many people know this but coincidentally that sign does not apply when it’s raining. So just rush into one of those bad boys to take shelter and you’ll be great.
1.) In someone’s dorm room:
This one is a little less convenient because the dorms aren’t super close to many classrooms, but this is the perfect place to keep dry. It’s super easy. You just have to run into the dorm building behind a resident who’s heading in, follow them to their room and force yourself into your home. They may start to run if you follow them too closely but that just means that you’ll get a good work out in too, so don’t be discouraged. The key to this plan is persistence and plenty of blunt force.
We at The Black Sheep hope that these tips are helpful in avoiding the downpours to come and we hope you can all stay dry!
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