8 Essentials To Put in a Davis Time Capsule

author-pic at UC Davis  

The time capsule: some use it for that rush of nostalgia when they rediscover something from the past. Sometimes, those in the present just want to brag about how awesome their time period is, while those of the future laugh at these primitive lifeforms. In most cases, time capsules are used to capture the essence of a specific place and time. A lot of things could go into a UC Davis time capsule, but here are 8 things that would represent Davis best.

8.) Tears Gathered at the Peter J. Shields Library:

UC Davis has a student body composed  of a wide range of ethnicities, genders, sexualities, ages, and everything in between. One thing that unifies every single person on campus, however, are the frequent nervous breakdowns and panic attacks which occur whilst in the middle of studying at the library.

7.) Bike Thief Starter Pack:

They’re some of the most despicable human beings to ever walk the earth, and definitely not welcome on campus, but where there are bikes there are bike thieves, so they’re here to stay. To represent this portion of the student body, throw in a bike thief starter pack, consisting  of a ski mask, box of tools, and a warped sense of morality.

6.) Essence of Cow:

Sure, you could just throw in a couple of pictures of some cows and their calves, but that wouldn’t even come close to capturing the true experience of having these shamelessly smelly next-door neighbors. Make sure not to label the bottle when you throw it into the capsule, ensuring maximum impact on those inspecting the contents.

5.) Worn-Out Tires:

Nothing captures the Davis experience more than the infuriating feeling of having to break for sudden obstacles on your path. Someone cut you off in the bike circle? Break. A pedestrian somehow figures that them walking at 2 miles an hour will outrun your oncoming 15 miles per hour? Break. A squirrel decide to run onto the road? Screech. Skid. Crash. In any case, throw those thin strips of rubber into the capsule.

4.) The Sweat of Test-Takers at Wellman:

Ever wonder why the lecture rooms in Wellman feel so stuffy? Consider this: you’re halfway through your final exam, and you reach a question pertaining to the “eh, it probably won’t be on the exam” part of the material that you skipped studying. Sweat rolls down your temple as you stare at the paper in panic. This has happened to the hundreds of thousands of people who have passed through Wellman’s walls, and is a perfect representation of Davis mentality.

3.) An Egghead:

UC Davis would never be complete without its set of eggheads. They’re peppered throughout the campus, keeping watchful, albeit unsettling, eyes on all the students. In order to grace the future with the same disconcerting chill down the spine, you must place the egghead in its entirety into the capsule.

2.) Transcript of Turkey 9-1-1 Emergency Calls:

The easiest way to convey the presence of turkeys in Davis would be, of course, to just place a turkey feather into the capsule. But would one flimsy feather be able to convey the sense of absolute terror that these creatures managed to bring to the streets of Downtown Davis? Place the transcript of these 9-1-1 calls into the capsule, and future discoverers will be cowering in fear as well.

1.) Unitrans Bus Seat:

The only other place that’s collected more traffic from UC Davis students than Wellman Hall would be your standard Unitrans bus seat. For years these buses have transported thousands of rear ends to each of the far reaches of the city, and with just one touch to the carpeted seat, you have access to all of them.

By placing all of these items into a time capsule, one would be able to capture an accurate snapshot of Davis at this point in time. You could send the capsule to someone in 1000 years and they would still be able to fully embrace the Davis experience. One problem, however, is that Davis never changes, and the person who opens the time capsule may see no difference between “then” and “now.”