Making friends is hard in any situation but especially in college. You’re already so stressed about studying, work, and how sad your love life is, but the cherry in top is feeling lonely in a constantly-populated environment. If you’re having trouble befriending others in your new classes, use this list to become the most popular student at UCD.
6.) Bond with others by complaining about EVERYTHING:
People love to gossip. People who relate over other things or people they hate bond a lot faster than people who bond over liking simple things like “nice weather.” Go for the dirty deets on your professor or TAs. Complain about how much homework that class assigns and how no professor ever understands how busy students are. Or simply complain about Katehi; most students at UCD are wandering around trying to land a one-liner about the former chancellor.
5.) Become everyone’s “mom friend”:
Who doesn’t love a good mom friend? Mom friends are especially in high demand in classes, because you know they’ve always got you hooked up with those extra Scantrons, not to mention those dope snacks (organic Fruit by the Foot, where ya at?). Plus, the best moms always carry extra allergy meds; people will talk to you just to beg for relief from Davis’s spring allergies like they’re trying to get a cure for a zombie apocalypse.
4.) Pretend you don’t care about anything:
If you’re too cool to be the mom friend, you can try coming off as the coolest cat in class. Just remember, everyone likes that cool, mysterious friend from the Co-Ops that doesn’t give a flying hoot about anything and dresses like a maniac. But no one really wants to befriend someone whose aloofness in class will bring them down, too. Pretending to be super apathetic, but secretly trying really hard in the class is key.
3.) Become Australian:
Americans love people with cool accents. You don’t necessarily need to pick Australia, but choose some place that will immediately intrigue other classmates. Australia’s a good one because it’s a polar opposite from farmland and cow territory. Plus, it will probably help your dating life too. The moment you raise your hand to answer your professor’s question, people will make befriending you their goal.
2.) Get a dog:
Adopt a dog and register them as a service dog so you can take them everywhere (everyone else does it!). Your dog will lure people in for conversation and people will want to be your friend just so they can sit near the doggo during class! Best-case scenario: you get a weiner dog, have them run at Picnic Day, and, when they win, you’ll have a celebrity at your constant disposal!
1.) Throw a bunch of parties!:
Become a social butterfly and throw total ragers every other night at your home! Sure, your roommates and neighbors might grow to hate you, your GPA might be as high as your BAC, but the people you invite from your classes will think you’re super cool! It’s spring quarter—everyone’s favorite party season!
Remember, people want friends just as much as you do, and everyone’s starting fresh at the beginning of the quarter. Introduce yourself! Say hello! Stay cool! Bribe them with free booze!