The Davis bars; a staple of our tiny college town, and every year it seems like one gets worse and another gets better. For this quarter, we went to the most popular bars in Davis to judge them based on criteria that seem pretty important to us.
6.) de Vere’s Irish Pub Pros:
-Definitely the most aesthetic bar in Davis, like there’s legit an old library in it.
-Quiet enough that you can actually hear your friends.
-Better alcohol than you usually drink or would ever drink, including whiskey from different countries.
-Better alcohol than you can afford, so don’t plan on getting wasted here unless your financial aid just came in.
-Too classy for your drunk self, sorry drunk white girls.
-You can feel the bartenders judging your taste in booze.
Signature drink: A big-ass collection of whiskey you can’t afford.
5.) Bar Bernardo Pros:
-The Wiki Wacky Woo packs a punch and might make you reconsider your life choices.
-You can convince yourself you’re going to do the Trinity before you give up and puke at Bistro.
-It’s the size of a broom closet.
-It’s impossible to not feel stupid when saying “Wiki Wacky Woo” to the bartender.
Signature drink: Wiki Wacky Woo
4.) Blondies Pros:
-Best party atmosphere in Davis, even if they play top 40 hits until your ears bleed.
-There’s always a DJ or live music.
-It’s like a frat party at a bar, as in you’ll pretty much see every frat star and drunk sorority girl in Davis here.
-You will always be a worse dancer than the people next to you.
-It’s like a frat party at a bar.
-The stupid cover charge, like c’mon we’re broke college kids.
Signature drink: Let’s be honest, you’re not getting anything fancy here, and the cool drinks like the fishbowls aren’t served when the bar is actually open.
3.) Bistro 33 Pros:
-Outdoor seating that’s great when it’s warm out, or when it’s cold and there’s a fire blazing in the firepit.
-Great hangout spot with views of all the hammered students wandering around.
-$12 pitchers of mojitos on Mojito Night that will definitely make you want to text your ex.
-The bathrooms are hands down the most beautiful of any bar in Davis.
-$12 pitchers of mojitos taste like $12 pitchers of mojitos but keep convincing yourself it’s delicious.
-Don’t ever get food here, it’s ridiculously expensive.
-It closes at midnight so it’s pretty much just a spot to pregame.
Signature drink: Mojito pitcher after mojito pitcher.
2.) University of Beer Pros:
-Drink local beers to get Davis hipster cred.
-Go to trivia night to pretend you’re putting your expensive education to use.
-Say something about hops and pretend to be smart, maybe the chick next to you will be impressed.
-Don’t like beer? Too bad that’s all they have.
-Cement your reputation as a lightweight if you can actually get drunk here.
-Become paralyzed with indecision over the sixty different beers, and settle for a Miller Lite.
Signature drink: Many different types of beer that all taste the same to you because you’re an uncultured swine.
1.) G Street Wunderbar Pros:
-Funk night is arguably the most lit time of the week.
-There are pool tables that you’ll never get a chance to use because they will forever be occupied by the same group of 6 dudes, but they look cool.
-A stage with microphones so your drunk ass can do a rendition of the Jackson 5 in front of everyone.
-It’s literally so crowded at the bar that it may take the entire night just to get one drink.
-Again, the drinks are hella expensive and it never seems like there are actually any specials or discounts.
-The pool tables and arcade games are fun, but they take up all of the space in the bar and G Street could probably fit 50 more people if they got rid of them.
Signature drink: Overpriced skittle bombs and overpriced AMFs.
Overall, the Davis bars are pretty fun, but let’s be honest, the Taco Bell enjoyed afterward will by far be the best part of your night.