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How to Procrastinate like a Pro for UCD Finals

With UCD finals coming up and final projects and papers due this week, stress is starting to hit home. Some people meticulously plan their schedules ahead of time and seem to have their shit together, but other people much prefer the rush, adrenaline, and extra creativity that come with having extreme time constraints. Juggling so many tasks at once can be overwhelming, so why not just keep putting them off and enjoy yourself a bit more? Here are some great ways to ensure that you procrastinate with a purpose and don’t put in too much time on an assignment that deserves far less.

5.) Watch movies and TV shows that are vaguely related to what you should be working on:
If you’re studying for math, watch Good Will Hunting, for history watch Inglourious Basterds, for chemistry watch Breaking Bad and for film studies, well, just watch any movie. Everyone should know that actually understanding facts and concepts is extraordinarily overrated because the only reason we seek knowledge is so we can have superficial appreciation for clever references and connections made in art and other forms of entertainment. You don’t need all that when you can just show people your fancy piece of paper proving a degree from UCD. If you can watch any of these things and enjoy, it means you’re smart enough already to not have to worry about your assignments, or school in general, so keep relaxing.

4.) Learn to bend the fabric of time:
Too busy and need some more time? If you use term paper and project extensions intelligently, the extra time can effectively allow you to travel through time. The first step to this is to make yourself just busy enough that you can ask for assignment extensions from your TAs without feeling like you’re making too many excuses. By getting extensions at the last minute, the extra time you get feels like you’ve traveled back in time. Amazing! 

3.) Check social media as often as possible:
Communicating with your friends on social media all evening is one of the best ways to get inspiration and support on the work you’re not doing. By seeing all of the cool things your friends are up to and posting about while you are studying, you will only become more motivated to get your work done so you can join them. Thus, if you just stay on social media by constantly checking Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, etc., you can gain a seemingly infinite supply of motivation and inspiration so you can produce your best work. Or drop of out school and write for Buzzfeed.

2.) Don’t calm yourself down:
Continue to think about how difficult and important any given undertaking is. Whatever you do, don’t try to break it down into manageable tasks, because then you will lose sight of how important this is to your final grade, GPA, career prospects, and happiness in general for the rest of your life. You’re trying to be stress-free, so what better step than getting it all out at once without holding back?

1.) And no matter what, don’t feel pressured to start your assignment:
If you just don’t feel like working, then that type of negativity and disinterest is reflected in the quality of your work. It’s always better to wait until you are in a more positive, productive state of mind. Plus, if you start something too early, you’ll end up spending way too much time on it and it will be just as good as if you wait until the last minute. Your best work is in there somewhere, it just needs an extreme time constraint to bring it out. 

Don’t do, just think. If you’ve got a nasty case of writer’s block, just remember that the worst thing you can do is start writing. If you haven’t found that perfect idea, then you should just keep waiting and staring into space without doing anything. You wouldn’t want to start something only to have to change it later, especially when you know how to procrastinate like a pro. 

Hey dummy, listen (AND SUBSCRIBE) to our podcast with Twitter’s @Rad_Milk!

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