Recipe for Disaster: One Pot Red Wine Pasta

author-pic at UC Davis  

One of the wonderful things about pasta is that it’s easy and delicious. But what if it could be both of those PLUS boozy? You struck gold. The Black Sheep decided to try One Pot Red Wine Pasta! The blog we stole got this recipe from is titled “A Beautiful Mess” which is what you’ll so lovingly describe yourself after trying to throw together a pasta recipe over a hot stove, completely plastered on red wine.

What You’ll Need:

– Fettuccini noodles

– 1 bay leaf

– 1 small white onion

– 2 tablespoons olive oil

– 2 ½ cups vegetable stock

– 2 cloves garlic

– 2 teaspoons basil

– ¾ cup water

– Hella red wine (Hella = 2 cups)

Cook Time:

20 minutes tops; if it takes longer just drink to make the time waiting more fun.

Fatty Factor:

Alcohol calories don’t count as real calories. Besides, mom always said red wine was good for your heart, or your brain? We can’t remember. She’s always too drunk to make sense.

Let’s Get Baked:

– Dice the onion into small pieces.

– Chop up the garlic until it’s minced.

– Pour everything except basil and the bay leaf into a large pot.

– Bring to a boil.

– Once boiling, turn heat to medium low and let cook for eight minutes, stirring occasionally.

– Once noodles are cooked, remove pot from heat.

– Since you cooked a lot of the alcohol off, dump more red wine in and stir. Wouldn’t want you to be sober ever.

– Stir in bay leaf and basil and let rest for five minutes.

– Add fresh parmesan cheese (or that nasty shaker cheese shit) if you’re really trying to impress.

So raise that glass and get to work, bud. This pasta ain’t going to make itself.

If you woke up surrounded by boxes of ravaged Lunchables, then this one is for you: