Thanksgiving break is almost here, and hopefully everyone gets to go home, but there are always those few stragglers that live too far away to travel back. You’ve got a limited number of options of places to eat on campus, most of which are sad because you’ll be alone, but mainly because the food isn’t exactly defined as edible. The Black Sheep has come up with the saddest places to eat Thanksgiving alone on campus, ranked from least sad to real motherfuckin’ sad.
6.) The Unitrans Bus:
So sad. So lonely. We’ve all sat here once before, so don’t make it your Thanksgiving dinner destination.
5.) Amidst This Slew of Davis Bikes:
We Davisites (Davisians?) are used to seeing this sight all around campus, which may make it that much more tempting to have your dinner-for-one here as well. Stay strong, though, and don’t be that one sad and lonely guy eating among the bikes.
4.) This Lonely Outdoor Table at the Silo:
Sure, drinking Starbucks and having a feast at your favorite eatery on campus sound thrilling, but really, it’s just sad. And as if it wasn’t bad enough as is, you’ve got all of those acorns falling on you, and squirrels running around…just don’t do it.
3.) This Weird Sculpture Near Mrak Hall and Olson Hall:
Now, this is sad. It’s grey and dismal and just plain weird. You can sit on it, it looks like, but will you really have a happy Thanksgiving eating on this thing? No. no you won’t.
2.) With This Lone Davis Squirrel Hunting Through Grass:
Squirrels are cute, and even tame in Davis. This squirrel just wants your food, not your company. This squirrel is a liar. He acts like he’s your friend, but then the next minute, he’s running away with your food. You’ve been warned.
1.) Under this Tree Near the Silo Construction:
Yes, a nice, quiet tree seems like the best place for your own (read: lonely) Thanksgiving dinner, but is it? No, it’s not. The construction workers will just yell at you to go away and the squirrels will probably throw acorns at you. It’s sad, but true.