We’re not saying Gunrock isn’t a loveable school mascot, he just doesn’t seem like the most appropriate mascot for our school anymore. Sure, he has a neat history about the US Army Cavalry bringing him here, and the few students that actually know about his origins can appreciate that. But, The Black Sheep thinks we can do better, so we came up ten other mascots for UC Davis. These suggestions might be weird, but are they really any weirder than a blue mustang wearing basketball shorts?
10.) A Cow:
A cow seems like the most obvious mascot for the university. Depending on which way the wind blows, you literally get a constant reminder that these majestic creatures are living on our campus with us. If UC Smokes Cannabis can have a freaking banana slug for their mascot, we can have a cow.
9.) A Stereotypical Farmer:
Everyone else already imagines this when they think of our school, so why not just embrace it? At least with a farmer as our mascot we can be the “Aggies” and it’d actually make sense. We offer tractor driving classes, but we don’t have this guy as our mascot?
8.) Anna Escobedo Cabral:
Anna Escobedo Cabral is an alumni of Davis and the 42nd Treasurer of the United States. We need someone to dress up as a cartoonish version of her, shoot t-shirts out of cannons, and throw money around at basketball games so people will take us seriously as an institution of higher learning once and for all!
7.) An Aggressive Turkey:
We all like to joke about these hostile birds, but they’re actually fueled up with some serious anger issues. They’re honestly even a little scary to be around. Maybe if we make them our mascot they’ll lighten up and hate us less.
6.) A Fearless Squirrel:
These adventurous lil’ dudes are way too comfortable approaching us and they’re almost as frequent as the billions of bikes we have on campus. One of these squirrels would be an admirable mascot because they’re not scared of anything, not even a living creature a hundred times their size.
5.) Late Night Cookies:
They’re never as good as you think they’re going to be. They’re either rock solid, or basically raw dough. Regardless, pigging out on these sub par cookies during late night makes freshman year a thousand times more bearable.
4.) A Hipster (man bun included):
If you don’t know what we’re talking about then you either are one or you’ll see one at the next protest.
3.) A Chained Bike with No Wheels:
A sad, and all too frequent event. We’ve all seen the repercussions of being too lazy to pull your U-lock through your front tire, and it’s not a pretty sight. Come one Aggies, we’re smarter than this.
2.) A Wheel with No Bike:
On the other hand, it’s even worse when you only lock your bike wheel and come back to a big “f*** you” waiting for you after class. Having a mascot this pathetic wouldn’t just encourage us to do better. It’d make us want to be better.
1.) A Berkeley Rejection Letter:
We’re best known for being everyone’s second choice, but if there’s anything that our childhood has taught us, it’s that first it the worst, but second is most certainly the best.
WATCH: Here’s a real shocker: old rich white guys’ don’t care about women’s health.