Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse is difficult when you aren’t entirely sure what sort of zombies you’ll be dealing with (will they be fast, can they climb, if you just pretend to be a zombie will they notice?) but if you’re saying you’ve never found yourself spacing out during lecture about how badass you’ll be when the day comes, then you’re a freaking liar. To help you next time you find yourself living this daydream, The Black Sheep found the best places for you to hide on campus.
10.) Shields Library:
The endless book shelves can be used as barricades against glass windows so the zombies can’t get in. Plus, you won’t be too scared to sleep at night because Shields has a magic power that forces students to sleep when they should be doing other things like studying or fighting for their life in the zombie apocalypse.
9.) A Campus Dorm:
They’re tall so you can keep a constant look out on the roof and they’ve got comfortable facilities. Just think about all the good snacks from mommy and daddy that the freshmen are hoarding in their rooms. And if those snacks aren’t good enough you can sneak over to the dining commons and attempt to break in. You won’t even have to use a swipe. #apocalypseperks
8.) The MU:
The renovation for it is supposed to be done soon, but they’ve moved the finished date back so many times that it will probably be under construction for the rest of our lives. Which is good news for the zombie apocalypse because that equipment will come in handy.
7.) Kerr Hall:
It’s tall and daunting, making it easy for rooftop scouts. It also has windows that are weirdly perfect for archers. Maybe some overly excited political activists will still be there and they can scare the zombies away with their endless rants.
6.) This Tree Bush Thing:
Because number one, is it a tree or just a ridiculously large a bush? And number two, zombies wouldn’t expect you to hide there, no one with half a brain would (get it?).
5.) The Community Center:
It has prime location because it has the South Coho for food supply, but it’s biggest perk is that it’s stocked up with condoms from the LGBTQ Center. Being in the middle of the zombie apocalypse is no excuse to stop practicing safe sex.
4.) The Silo:
Endless food supply but probably still nowhere to sit. It has its pros and cons, but the prime location makes it a good spot. Being next to the bike barn gives you access to tools and overpriced bikes.
3.) Craft Center:
This place is definitely more badass than it seems. Think about all the makeshift shanks you can make from the stained glass. You could totally chop a zombie’s head off with those woodworking tools.
2.) A Hammock:
The only good thing that will come out of the apocalypse is that you’ll finally be able to find a free hammock. You’ll definitely die out there, but at least you’ll be brutally eaten alive comfortably.
1.) The Death Star:
The Social Sciences and Humanity building is notorious for its frightening architecture and its ridiculous layout. If you know it well enough, hiding out here would be perfect. Just follow this simple rule: Confuse ’em ’til ya lose ’em.
WATCH: We made Malort cupcakes. They are bad.