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7 Topics Every Aggie Should Avoid at Thanksgiving Dinner

 

Thanksgiving can be a very difficult time for college students. Relatives often ask too many questions about your life and this can create a lot of stress and anxiety. Here are a couple topics to avoid this Thanksgiving dinner. Good luck, Aggies.

7.) Career:

It’s Thanksgiving and you’ll be bombarded with triggering questions like “What are you going to do after you graduate?” A good way to avoid it is to immediately stuff an entire slice of pumpkin pie in your mouth and hope you choke on it. It’ll be easier than answering that question, trust us.

6.) Religion:

There is a time and a place to tell your devout mother that you have renounced everything she has instilled in you, and have converted into Pastafarianism. If you want a slice of that honey-glazed ham and mashed potatoes, Thanksgiving is neither the time nor place.

5.) Politics:

This is pertinent to all family gatherings, but in light of the recent election, avoiding politics is imperative. Your Uncle John knows you hate the cheetoh we call our President-elect. He’s seen your Facebook posts and has probably commented “that liberal school you go to has made you crazy!!! I told your mom Davis was a bad idea!” But Uncle John is in his mid-50’s, and he has a bad heart from all the red meat he eats. Don’t give Uncle John a heart attack this Thanksgiving because of politics. Let your cousin who goes to Berkeley do that.

4.) Alcohol:

They all know you drink. They just don’t know how much. Don’t let on that you can out-drink them all, except for probably Aunt Linda.

3.) How much money you spend on food:

When you’re not at Woodstock, you’re probably at Thai Canteen. And we won’t even mention how often you’re at Dutch Bros. So why should you? Just avoid the topic all together.

2.) The UC Davis vs. Sac State Game:

You could brag about how we won 48-30 last week. But why make your cousin who goes to Sac State feel bad?

1.) Love Life:

Possibly the annoying question you hear every year is if you have a significant other. Whether you have one or not, answering that question can be trifling. Simply say “yes” and memorize this script we have prepared (adjust for pronouns, of course):

Grandma: So are you seeing anyone?

You: Yes, actually. His name is Sam and he’s a real sweetheart. I met him on campus a couple months ago. We like to hang out in the quad and have lunch together, but he’s always trying to steal my food. It’s cute though.”

Your Grandma Doris will never know you’re actually describing a squirrel you almost ran over near the MU.

 

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