The Oscar nominations for 2017 are out now and the Academy has to start picking their winners for the show in March. Movies are cool and everything, but most of us don’t have time for that in our busy college lives. What we need is our own special set of Oscar nominations, specific to the UC Davis people we know and sometimes love. Here are this year’s UCD Oscar nominations:
7.) Professor Toupadakis: Nominated for Most Meme Incarnate:
Toupadakis is the man on campus. Even those of us who have never taken a chemistry class have heard of this man’s legend. He’s a campus meme, but only in the best way. Maybe you don’t like his teaching methods, but everyone has to admit he’s a lovable dude. Before he was a college professor, he got sketched by the government making chemical weapons and now spreads the word of peace to college kids! He’s the real deal. Honestly, check out his very memey website if you don’t believe us.
6.) Person with Sign: Nominated for Most Wholesome Message:
When we approached this person to ask why they were holding up a sign, they said it was for no particular reason. This sweet angel is just spreading this message so that we all know we’re good enough. Ever feeling down? (That’s rhetorical, you’re in college and we’re approaching midterms, of course you’re feeling down). Head to the MU and find a very approachable and kind human being with a reminder that you should just keep doing you, because that’s what’s up.
5.) Gunrock: Nominated for Creepiest Horse:
We will never get over Gunrock jokes. Seriously this horse is BLUE and wears basketball shorts. What’s with that? Also, he gained hella muscles basically overnight when his suit was upgraded and it’s grossly uncomfortable. Shouldn’t our mascot be nice and peppy, and not terrifyingly bulk and strange? None of the other UC Davis horses (or any horse in the world) will ever be as creepy.
4.) Katehi: Nominated for Best Villain:
Everyone loves to hate on Katehi so much, that using her as a joke will never get old. Katehi is a pure villain, and she’s in for round two when she came back to teach this year after losing her Chancellor position. And the big hitter and that she’s getting roughly the same pay as her previous position. She wronged the students and now they hate her, but hey, she’s got a fake Oscar nomination from a silly website, so maybe things will be looking up for her.
3.) The Preacher: Nominated for Most Known Campus Figure:
Without fail, this man stands outside the MU every day, peacefully preaching. While his loud voice and constant speaking might be annoying at times, he’s actually a pretty nice guy. When asked if we could take a picture of him, he paused mid-speech, said “I don’t have my dog, or my bible,” posed, and said, “How’s this?” Afterwards he reminded us that “Jesus loves you” and continued with his day. This guy’s a legend, it’s no wonder why every person on campus know exactly who he is.
2.) The Preacher’s Dog: Nominated for Best Campus Doggo:
There are a lot of precious little pups on campus, so it’s a real honor to be nominated for this award. But let’s be real, most of us are way too concerned for this dog whenever we see the Preacher without it. This pupper is so sweet and makes up for any annoyance the Preacher might ever cause. Please, let this dog live forever.
1.) Co-op Kids: Nominated for Best Costume Design:
It’s pretty easy to spot a kid from the Co-op’s because they usually have a pretty ridiculous outfit on. It’s pretty incredible that they can come up with the outfits that they put on, but what’s even crazier is that they all pull it off. Those crazy kids look wild, but they do it in style.
Now if only the UC Davis Oscars were real, then these people could get the recognition they deserve. Until that glorious day, these nominations will be enough. Be ready to try to get your very own nominations next year Aggies! Until then, just remember “you are enough.”
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