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6 Lies UCR Tour Guides Tell Incoming Freshmen

Being a tour guide can be fun and annoying at the same time. You have to make sure to smile and keep great posture at all times. You also have to sound confident, even if you’re not…50% of the time. Another thing about being a tour guide is that it’s your job to butter up those incoming freshman with some great lies…

6.) Freshman Dorms Are So Awesome:

Tour guides always over hype the experience of living in the dorms. They’ll tell you how your roommate(s) will become your best friend(s) for the next four years, and that it’s totally spacious enough. What does spacious enough even mean? Maybe spacious enough for the boys, but not for the girls — we need room to fit all our clothes thank you. Tour guides also fail to tell you how gross the communal bathrooms are, and the potential drama that can occur in your dorm.

5.) The Freshman Laundry Room Is Real Useful:

Parents love the idea of their child(ren) being responsible, and doing their own laundry. Tour guides tell people how it is a great learning and social experience since you are living with these people for a whole year. However, they forget to tell you how there are so many rude ass people who will literally wait till your load is done, and take your wet clothes out so they can put theirs in. Not cool.

4.) The Dining Hall Food Is Good:

Tour guides will say how good the food is here, and there are so many options to choose from. The people in the group will eat in the dining hall, and even agree that it’s so good too. Until they realize that the food options become repetitive. It will still suck no matter how used to it you are.

3.) The Weather Isn’t Too Bad:

It’s Riverside, so…. that is a total lie! The heat here sometimes goes over 100 degrees. That’s not normal. With winter, at least you can bundle up in so many clothes, but with summer there’s only so much you can take off. The heat here is sticky and gross, so you better get used to it.

2.) Riverside Has So Much Stuff Here:

If you’re from LA, then you know that it is loud, and very busy over there. Over here at Riverside it’s very quiet. Many students get bored or even depressed from all the quietness. Be prepared, in case that happens to you. The tour guide will never say anything about that, so instead they’ll say how Downtown Riverside and The University Village are cool places to hang out with friends. But in all honesty? Visiting those places get old real quick.

1.) UCR Is Known For Its Oranges:

Many tour guides like to tell their group how UCR is known for its oranges. This is true, but have they ever mentioned that no one even picks them? Nope. There are so many orange trees here on campus, but the majority of them you can’t even pick from because they are used in experiments. So, if you ever do decide to pick up an orange, make sure there is no little colored ribbon, which is how they “mark” the modified trees.

 

Like booze before noon? So do these guys…

 

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