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How to Recover From a Hangover at UCR

UCR students work hard during the week, which is why they go hard during the weekends (which can sometimes start Thursday). Then Monday comes around, and it’s hard to get back to the grind. Here are some places to visit to help you rid your sins and recover, so you can get back to aimlessly staring at a blank Word document all week that will somehow turn its way into an essay two hours before it’s due.

3.) Juju Bar:

After some heavy drinking, the Juju Bar is a place for acai bowls and some other stuff that no one really pays attention to. It’s always much more crowded Sunday nights, especially the first Sunday back of the quarter. Students feel that consuming fruit blended with other stuff (who really pays attention to the list of ingredients?) will counterbalance all the alcohol from the last three days. If only it worked that way.

2.) Rivera Library:

After heavy drug use, according to a completely legitimate survey, students tend to go to the Rivera Library Sunday night after a weekend of using and experimenting. Mind you, the Rivera Library is, arguably, much more quieter and emptier than Obarch. They say they feel as if they are making up for the brain cells that were lost when the drug was being consumed. Again, if going to the library and looking at pictures and wondering who that random person is replenishes brain cells, we’d probably all have a shot at Honor Roll, and our parents could get those bumper stickers saying MY CHILD IS AN HONOR ROLL STUDENT AT UCR to replace the one from elementary school. Unfortunately, we all know this just is not possible.

1.) Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

Heavy petting with someone? Go ask Jesus for some guidance, conveniently located on University Ave. After the sins of the weekend you might want to head over to the confessional booth and say, “Father, you will not believe who I hooked up with last night.” And he has to sit there and listen. You get someone you can brag about your conquests to who will actually listen, and you won’t even be able to see them roll their eyes. Even better, you can say who you truly hooked up with instead of the hotter person you tell your friends, because what are the chances the priest is a UCR student and will know who you’re talking about? 

Like booze before noon? So do these guys…


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