5 Things You Don’t Want Your Parents to See At UCR
Who doesn’t love a visit from their parents while they’re away at school? These visits usually come with free food and/or money. However, there are precautions you have to take when parental figures are around UCR:
5.) Sex Ed:
It seems like every week Lothian and AI are having different opportunities to teach freshmen about everything they need to know, from safe sex to where the hell the clitoris is (because it seems like a lot of people don’t know…). There will constantly be billboards decorated with condoms and diagrams of the female anatomy. Very useful information, and students certainly aren’t disputing that! But sometimes it’s just best to avoid that awkward moment and have our parents drop us off outside.
4.) Your One Night Stand:
Whether you exchange an awkward wave when you see your one night stand in line at The Coffee Bean, or make eye contact and quickly look away as you walk by them in The Hub, your parents will pick up on the brief interaction. They will then ask you who that person is, and when you mumble that it’s someone from class, they’ll ask why you’re blushing.
3.) Your trophy bottles:
Students like to keep up their empty alcohol bottles because it reminds them of their accomplishments, and it’s aesthetically pleasing. And every time your parents are visiting, the bottles get stashed in a cabinet and you pray your mom doesn’t look around through it as she sometimes randomly does.
2.) Your Drunk Roommate:
“What’s wrong with your roommate?” “Is she drunk?” “Does she pressure you to drink too?” Oh no don’t worry she’s just sick…
1.) Your Drunk Self:
Whether it was a surprise visit, you thought you had time to sober up, or you’re still drunk from last night, if you go to UCR, chances are your parents will see you drunk at least once when they visit. It’s inevitable, but take them to the wine section at Food4Less and everything will be okay.
Like booze before noon? So do these guys…