The 3 Types of F*** Buddy Every Romantic Relationship in IV Boils Down To

author-pic at UC Santa Barbara  

It is well known that Isla Vista is the land of romance. From the allure of the beautiful beaches to the sweet smell of some marijuana-tobacco-vodka mix in the air, it’s no surprise that romantic relationships between students are abundant. Relationships in this town vary in commitment and sexual deviancy, but let’s be honest, they all boil down to one of the following when it’s all said and done:

3.) The Plain Ol’ Fuck Buddy:
The fuck buddy is the run-of-the-mill, reliable friend reached out to in one’s time of need. The exchange is mutually beneficial, and the two parties typically get together once or twice a week (thrice on a good week). Both parties are aware of each other’s hometowns. However, hometowns are only revealed after one partner texts the other for a late night bone, but reluctantly finds out that their bae is back in L.A. for the weekend.  

This is about as far as the exchange of personal information goes, but that doesn’t stop the fuck buddy dynamic from thriving in Isla Vista. This type of relationship is sustained by IV’s rip-roaringly drunk party culture, the perfect weather allowing for minimal clothing, and the 12:00 a.m. curfew that leaves college students with plenty of energy to spare for their beloved fuck buddy.

2.) The Over/Under-Attached Fuck Buddy:
This fuck buddy-ship is mutually beneficial, however, one partner expects more out of the relationship than the other is willing to provide. Once the first partner seeks to know information more personal than the second partner’s place of origin, (such as their major, hobbies, or last name) the fuck buddy-ship has entered dangerous territory. The first partner becomes dissatisfied by the sole sexual exchange and starts grappling for more – making moves to grab coffee at Caje or study at Davidson together, and thus becoming the overly-attached-fuck-buddy.  This partner is usually upset by the lack of time the other spends with them and hopes to catch their bae in line at Freebirds every once in awhile to quietly stare and contemplate texting“I see you hehehehe B-)” 

On the other hand, this leaves an unattached-fuck-buddy, who would prefer to only see their partner on Friday evenings after 11:00 p.m.  The unattached-fuck-buddy tends to be busy all the damn time, and has little room for a relationship, or anything relationship like.  One can often spot the unattached-fuck-buddy at the library, the gym, or anywhere except their home really.  Though the two can appreciate the usefulness of one another, their relationship will fizzle out with time because neither will be completely satisfied.

1.) The Way Too Extra Fuck Buddy:
This dynamic duo is found commonly throughout IV. In this scenario, the two partners begin hooking up, and can initially be mistaken for just fuck buddies. But, upon further analysis and after spending more and more time together, one partner notices the strange tendencies of the other. These tendencies can include but are not limited to: only having sex under red lights because it reminds them of Amsterdam, taking snack breaks during intercourse, insisting on being called daddy long legs in bed, only having sex after singing the national anthem, etc.  

Though one partner clearly notices red flags while with the second partner, they continue their exchanges because the exchange itself is just that good, dubbing the second partner the kinda-extra-but-worth-it-fuck-buddy.

Isla Vista is indeed a place for depthful romantic connection. You’re sure to write home about the truly diverse nature of relationships found here in this hormone-raging town. No matter what you chalk up your special connection to be to Mom, make sure you don’t catch feelings and mess up a good thing.

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