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UCSB to Offer Counseling for Students Without Friends to Push Their iClickers

The Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) Department announced this week that it will soon be offering drop-in counseling for anyone without a friend to push their iClicker for them during class. CAPS psychologists have designed an innovative approach that attempts to mitigate the problem directly, by bringing these like students together in a single place.

“We create a safe space, where ideally we can pair you with someone willing to push your iClicker come a day you get sick or just don’t have an inclination to go to lecture,” project designer Dr. Joanna Crosby said. “We encourage you to come in, make a new friend and ask them to do you a solid this morning because you aren’t feeling so great.”

Once an agreement is come to by a pair, CAPS offers a binding contract for the two to sign which will collateralize their bikes in the event of one of them falling through.

“Once you’re in, you’re in for life,” Crosby explained, void of any emotion. “We’ve seen too many students back out due to brushes with the professor or fear of administration. We are the administration now.”

Senior Elliot Kevane has been in the pilot program for iClicker pushing since he was a freshman and attests to its success. “I can’t remember the last time I pushed my own iClicker,” Kevane said, “They told me they’d take my beer die table if I didn’t push this kid’s clicker for Math 34A though. It’s been rough but a guy’s got to toss, you know?”

Internship credit is now available with the program through certain departments. Students can earn up to three units per quarter for pushing one iClicker, and as high as six units for keeping your mouth shut if you ever get caught. “I honestly hope I get caught,” Kevane admits as he fumbles to press B on three remotes at once.

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