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An Interview With Gene Block About the UCLA Meme Page

 

The Black Sheep: “Today, we’re honored to have UCLA Chancellor Gene Block with us. Chancellor, there’s a myriad of issues facing UCLA: tuition hikes, a student housing crisis, a shitty football team, a dreadfully underperforming basketball team, and the uncertainties of a Donald Trump administration, but we’re here today to talk about the most pressing matter at hand… the UCLA meme page. What are your thoughts of the meme page, Chancellor?”

 

Gene Block: “I find that students blame this “Memes for Sick AF Tweens” Facebook page when they fail their midterms and finals. Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, you failed Stats 10 because you’re fuckin stupid?”

 

TBS: “Those are some strong words, Chancellor. We thought we’d show you some notable memes from the meme page and you can tell us what you think. Here’s the first one we have:

 

Picture1

 

TBS: “We’ve seen students post memes on the Facebook page like this with cute animals and captions that say “comment this for good grades this quarter” and hundreds of students do. Why do you think this is such a trend?”

 

GB: “Fuck if I know, man. It amazes me that students will comment for “good grades,” not study, get a 40% on their midterm, then complain to their parents that they don’t know “what happened.” I know, I see you fools crying around campus on the phones with your mom during Week 5. No, I don’t feel bad for you.”

 

TBS: “Well, for all the contempt you have for the meme page, it certainly does love you. Here’s another one:”

 

Picture2

 

TBS: “The number of students calling you “bae” and “zaddy” is off the charts, Chancellor.”

 

GB: “What the fuck? Why is this on there? That’s not even a meme, get that shit off the meme page.”

 

TBS: “We’re sorry to get you worked up, Chancellor. Here’s another highly-liked and well-regarded meme taunting a campus dining hall. How do you feel about the students’ constant criticism of the dining halls?”

 

Picture3 

 

GB: *chuckles* “This one’s funny and pretty damn spot-on. Fuck B-Plate. Shit’s nasty.”

 

TBS: “How about this next one, which seems to be insulting the inefficiencies of Covel Dining?”

 

Picture4

 

GB: “I have to give this one some credit. This meme takes a jab at both Donald Trump and the fact that Covel’s omelet lines are practically as long as lines for the home basketball games. Why do y’all wait that long? A better question is, what the fuck are they doing behind the counter that makes it take so long? Just get some scrambled eggs and sprinkle some shit from the salad bar on top, it’s pretty much the same thing.”

 

TBS: “We’ve noticed that memes are not the only posts on the meme page that involve you. For example, a short erotica story titled Rough Redwood: A UCLA Original by Hugh E. Dick involves you… uh… seducing and engaging in sexual intercourse with the mascots. Are you aware of this?”

 

GB: “Yes, I’m well aware. I read it once. That was a mistake. Now I can’t have sex with my wife… every time I do, I’m reminded there are UCLA students that are writing about me having threesomes with Joe and Josie Bruin and I just… I just can’t perform. The meme page has ruined my sex life.”

 

TBS: “We would assume that the statement ‘the meme page has ruined my sex life’ does apply to a lot of students, too. Thank you for being with us here at The Black Sheep today, Chancellor Block. Do you have any final comments?”

 

GB: “Thanks for having me. And yes, I’d like to point out that, although there are spots of cleverness, overall the UCLA meme page is weak. I find UC Berkeley’s “Memes for Edgy Tweens” to be much more wholesome.”

 

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